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Sunday 18 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40831) - you deserved it (4526)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (39894)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52333) - you deserved it (3754)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (12186)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (3176)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (43916)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43717) - you deserved it (3442)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48162) - you deserved it (3803) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51545) - you deserved it (3082)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46517) - you deserved it (7614)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

#20853843
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40380) - you deserved it (2356)

On 08/25/2013 at 3:28pm - work - by what the fuck (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43448) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)



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