Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me...

By Anonymous - 22/4/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68617

You deserved it

5566

Favorite

Work

Last dates

Breaking Badly

They're everywhere

By Anonymous - 2/4/2020 05:00 - United States

Drama abounds

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years threatened to break up with me because when she came by my work, she saw me talking to another girl. The girl was a trainee. I'm the boss of the company, so it's my responsibility to train new people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1790

You deserved it

194

Favorite

By birdmagnet - 25/4/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57081

You deserved it

12586

Favorite

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22326

You deserved it

5127

Favorite

By Myboyfriendisaromanticslob - 10/3/2011 05:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33290

You deserved it

6446

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/3/2015 23:08 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26505

You deserved it

2689

Favorite

By coolguy - 6/11/2012 05:15 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I woke up and looked over to see the "beautiful girl" I slept with last night. Turns out it was the obsessive girl from my class with a man-face I had avoided all semester. In conclusion, beer goggles are very real and very powerful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13785

You deserved it

46564

Favorite

By carla - 13/1/2009 01:35 - France

Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19467

You deserved it

10520

Favorite

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/5/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks

4783

You deserved it

335

Favorite

By duuuuude - 17/4/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50858

You deserved it

23210

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/10/2019 20:00

Drunk dick

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1714

You deserved it

134

Favorite

By all tweened out - 20/2/2015 20:00 - Canada

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34655

You deserved it

2710

Favorite

By Anon - 31/10/2009 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32594

You deserved it

12113

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 07:25 - United States - Springfield

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32295

You deserved it

3818

Favorite

By SheenaL - 27/6/2011 06:26 - United States

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47577

You deserved it

13645

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/11/2018 12:00

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3427

You deserved it

532

Favorite

By lawdwhy - 12/11/2017 22:09

Today, my sense of smell is severely impaired by a bad cold. As a result, I inadvertently ate some highly questionable dairy. I figured this out after my roommate sniffed my yogurt and gagged, just before my bowels had their opportunity to object to my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2963

You deserved it

428

Favorite

By damn... - 28/10/2008 08:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34620

You deserved it

6189

Favorite

By monkey2069 - 13/5/2014 13:58 - United States - Elgin

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51613

You deserved it

4864

Favorite

By me - 7/5/2012 20:38 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30101

You deserved it

12049

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/7/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28157

You deserved it

8022

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/8/2012 00:20 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26772

You deserved it

8107

Favorite

By anon - 20/7/2011 07:55 - Canada

Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33865

You deserved it

3325

Favorite

By ripped - 7/9/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13723

You deserved it

1344

Favorite

By Jjay08 - 26/4/2016 21:17 - United States - Miles City

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had be stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13534

You deserved it

1113

Favorite

By Lightlysalted - 19/4/2018 19:00

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4122

You deserved it

198

Favorite

By nudie - 19/7/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I checked an old photosharing account. I got a new phone last year and didn't realize all the pictures I took with the new phone would still automatically upload to my account. Unknowingly, I posted naked pics of myself online. Not one of my friends told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16636

You deserved it

56397

Favorite

By kat - 21/2/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27622

You deserved it

3040

Favorite

By Wellthissucks - 6/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4060

You deserved it

440

Favorite

By Adam Gordon - 30/3/2017 14:00

Today, I received a Snapchat of a horse-drawn carriage version of a hearse. I replied, "That's so extra!" because I thought it was finals week at her school. Turns out, she's at her uncle's funeral. He was an officer in the Air Force and there's going to be a 21-gun salute in his honor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4100

You deserved it

1957

Favorite

By anon - 31/7/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21196

You deserved it

34093

Favorite

By handi-crap - 5/1/2010 17:28 - United States

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6984

You deserved it

78399

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/7/2013 21:45 - United States - Loveland

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54472

You deserved it

3384

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Happy Halloween?

Today, I saw photos of my roommate a recent party. OK, I'll admit I'm a little dark-skinned, but was it really necessary for him to color his face in black marker so he could go as "me" for a Halloween party? FML

I agree, your life sucks

2132

You deserved it

188

Favorite

By sninapeters - 22/12/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11424

You deserved it

36918

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/8/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29763

You deserved it

12646

Favorite

By Completely Innocent - 5/3/2015 17:10 - United States

Today, a coworker told my manager that I and another girl were plotting to get her fired at the end of the month. She actually believed her. Now we're suspended without pay for two weeks for conspiracy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30456

You deserved it

2784

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/7/2013 21:01 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54280

You deserved it

3062

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/11/2013 21:32 - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38848

You deserved it

44745

Favorite

By corn - 3/6/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41178

You deserved it

3276

Favorite

By ohemmgeee - 31/12/2011 11:11 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38980

You deserved it

5223

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By kmck09 | 0

#132427 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 13:37

I was fired from Hollister without ever being told.. I wouldn't worry about it, they're a screwed up company.

By Loe_307 | 0

#132378 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 13:02

Hope you stood up for yourself.

COMMENTS

By doch_fml | 4

#132286 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:12

Ouch

matt5217 | 4

#1076077 - Friday 9 July 2010 21:40

comment moderated

sports_chika | 0

#1092204 - Thursday 15 July 2010 4:42

way to get off on the right foot! ha anyway sorry op, I hope you got things straightened out.

By Lapras_LvL20 | 0

#132300 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:18

Boned.

By zargon | 1

#132308 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:20

YDI for being enough of a tool to work at Hollister.

By ohhhhshizzz | 0

#132353 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 12:43

#3: stfu.

I love Hollister.
And that sucks, I hope you let him know that you never knew you got the job.

By Loe_307 | 0

#132378 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 13:02

Hope you stood up for yourself.

DigitalFusion | 4

#3078756 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 15:19

At least number 6 stood up for himself.

By imadonkeymoo | 0

#132379 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 13:02

I have an erection

RoryStorm239 | 0

#970391 - Monday 29 March 2010 6:26

Ahaha!

ryguy997 | 0

#995877 - Monday 17 May 2010 4:11

why hasn't 6 been moderated yet?

By Jimboom | 11

#132391 - Wednesday 22 April 2009 13:06

They must have spoken to someone to tell you that you had the job. Otherwise how did they know you accepted it? Maybe a forgetful roommate/parent/sibling who forgot to give you the message?

Either way I am sure your new boss will understand.