Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML
Today, I went to see my new boyfriend play in a band. I found out that groupies don't like even bass players having girlfriends. I was attacked by one because he smiled at me from the stage. FML
Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML
Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML
Today, a girl that I've been falling for told me that she's married. But not to worry, that "won't get in the way of 'us'." FML
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Today, I found out my friends were dating, which, OK, might seem normal. Unfortunately, I had this really big crush on this girl. I really admired her because she was a pianist and I was a violinist, and we often jammed together. I was gonna tell her, but before I could she told me she has a boyfriend now. FML
Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
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Top comments
pleasetryagain 0
What does it matter? Isn't it better that you asked first instead of making a fool of yourself trying to hit on her? We really really need a "who the hell cares" category.
jdawg2010 0
this is a guy saying this, not a girl. men can't get pregnant. sorry :(.
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Comments (168)
Pyromie 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ouch, That one had to sting. I'd have told him "Oh... really? I wish i would have known that last night at the bar... It would have saved me some beer and a condom. "
sukhdeep 4
lol 1
Creamysweeps 5
awesome
Laiaira 0
This is why we need a "who cares" section to mark. Because, big deal. You asked, she was married, you don't go for her. Not really a fyl.
observesandgasps 0
some people would find this embarrassing. you ignorant ****.
kongor 1
Yeah... Just say "congradulations man" and walk away. Or say "lets see how long that lasts" and by her a drink
yannitheswimmer 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
haha, you should have been like well, I guess you're single now because I have your son in my tummy
jdawg2010 0
this is a guy saying this, not a girl. men can't get pregnant. sorry :(.
DeLovely 3
they're both guys
unibrowicorn 0
i don't see why people voted "YDI". what, like the OP should have carefully examined the keyboardist's(keytarist??) fingers and also the husband's before he asked if she was single? it's just a little embarrassing. not much of an FML. #3 uh...the OP is a man...? unless i misread.
Yuuhi 0
how is this a fMl? get over yourself...
Rockey 3
Seems like people don't know how to click "NO" in the moderate the FMLs anymore.
ozymandias_fml 0
keytarist? How lame.
pleasetryagain 0
What does it matter? Isn't it better that you asked first instead of making a fool of yourself trying to hit on her? We really really need a "who the hell cares" category.
libertyprime 0
So you high-five him and walk away. It's not like you had sex with her.
BOLLOX 0
Not a FML...I would actually be flattered if I was him