Intimacy: Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my...

By je_regrette_tout - 09/03/2013 18:50 - France - Livry-gargan

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 66 259

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Same thing different taste

Horny bonk

By debodave - 22/07/2009 20:06 - Germany

Today, I phoned one of the IT guys upstairs for help with my PC. He said it would only take a few minutes; and would just fix it through a direct connection from his computer to mine. Hours later, I was feeling horny, and quickly checked out an adult website. Mr IT Guy was still connected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 199

You deserved it 69 204

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 404

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 358

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 16:30

Today, in a holiday cottage, I was a little horny so I decided to watch some porn. An hour later, the owner barged in, screaming that I was not to use her internet for such things, that I’m a "loose slut" and that I'm "going to hell". The bitch must somehow have been illegally spying on my internet usage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 299

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

Heat of the moment

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 687

You deserved it 15 215

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 540

You deserved it 3 422

Tracking

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 2 682

By best_friend - 25/07/2011 06:43 - United States

Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 9 974

By 0h_Boy - 20/04/2016 20:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my wife and I were Skyping, when she decided to put on a "show" for me. Seconds before she was about to climax, we lost internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 911

You deserved it 2 546

Cbizzlez 10

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:27

"Hey can I get a glass of water" "Sure, can I get you anything else?" (**** music starts to play)

SixthSinEnvy 39

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:25

Couldn't pay the bill, huh?

Comments

funnyguy2697 6

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:22

Thats kinda creepy if they're just some stranger

natsaysheyyy 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:35

Well, hopefully you at least used a condom!

OneNightStander 6

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:51

That's awesome. I wish I was the technician!

joshiepo0 18

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:57

Welcome to most one night stands.

tialeanne 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:09

Not any different than one night stands, except for the alcohol part!

gc327072 30

Sunday 10 March 2013 5:09

I can imagine that guy back at the depot! "Ey bro, how was your day?" "Uhh… good…"

sniken 14

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:34

I'm guessing he'll return with a customer satisfaction survey!

gman90210 18

Monday 11 March 2013 4:10

Same thing you get at a club, bar, store or where ever. No difference

Dontbelikeme 2

Monday 11 March 2013 5:18

Actually the "alcohol part" is the biggest part of a one night stand, you literally just let a stranger get paid to have sex with you lol you should just be an escort since you have no morals

Mortoli 30

Saturday 8 February 2014 20:08

They gotta give that guy a raise I wonder if he messed something else up in hopes for a return lol

nemcali 34

Sunday 18 December 2016 18:47

She fancied him and it was mutual so what's your problem you sanctimonious judgemental moron?

HowAreYouToday 34

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:24

I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why having tour router replaced *and* sex is a bad thing...

CareFace 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:59

Hehehe a "hard" time...

ScaughtieHolden 11

Sunday 17 March 2013 13:33

It's an FML because OP found out she is a who...has no self control.

girI 20

Saturday 27 September 2014 3:29

Well, perhaps technicians, (like electricians and plumbers), get paid at an hourly rate, and depending on how long it took it could've made the bill more expensive?

samcro3 8

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:24

Let your freak flag fly, girl!

beeferjay 34

Tuesday 18 August 2015 9:10

ROLFKOPTER

SixthSinEnvy 39

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:25

Couldn't pay the bill, huh?

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:31

Someone Loves Useless Touching

gc327072 30

Sunday 10 March 2013 5:04

The router wasn't putting out enough signal, so, yeah.

mmaflake 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 7:49

Right

SomeRandomGuy15 18

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:26

Well... That escalated quickly.

Starcatch77 20

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:47

How will she "never fully understand" how they had sex? I mean if she wasn't drunk then she must remember how it happened...

BellaBelle_fml 23

Sunday 10 March 2013 3:44

No, she said, "…and for some reason I'll never fully understand…" She didn't understand the reason why it happened. Not how it happened.

dontpanic_fml 32

Sunday 10 March 2013 4:24

Still, I'm with 30 in that I'm not sure what's not to understand. I mean...she was there. They wanted to have sex. They had sex.

NessieMonster188 17

Sunday 10 March 2013 6:56

30: Mind blowing sex can actually temporarily erase a woman's memory

mmaflake 19

Sunday 10 March 2013 9:24

Give

nemcali 34

Sunday 18 December 2016 18:49

She probably does not normally sleep with strangers and she does not understand why this time was different

chelsearenaeee 16

Sunday 10 March 2013 2:26

Slutty much?

pussystank 18

Sunday 10 March 2013 6:02

I really fine this FML to be scary though. I really hope op doesn't get STDs but just in case she becomes positive there making Vaginal creams out of bee's venom *ouch lol* for stuff like that it maybe painful but its worth it.