Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing...

By panicromanceX3 - 26/4/2009 08:44 - United States

Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28809

You deserved it

63296

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By tapeissticky591 - 14/7/2012 05:49 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12857

You deserved it

36337

Favorite

By justwow - 21/3/2012 23:58 - United States - Fort George G Meade

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24761

You deserved it

7322

Favorite

By awkwardballer - 24/5/2016 16:53

Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9790

You deserved it

1562

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/3/2013 14:58 - United States - Springfield

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11350

You deserved it

72059

Favorite

By A troubled ex med school student - 6/2/2013 03:08 - United States - Dublin

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33101

You deserved it

6660

Favorite

By guess I'm stuck - 16/4/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73861

You deserved it

7700

Favorite

By modprobs - 3/8/2018 01:30

Perfect timing...

Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3570

You deserved it

247

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/5/2019 18:00

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

747

You deserved it

2753

Favorite

By Jennifer Sara Harms - 19/8/2019 00:01

Today, I made a 6-hour trip just to go to the wrong art festival. I have to go back and make the same trip again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1043

You deserved it

943

Favorite

By ciotter - 8/1/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30485

You deserved it

5364

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 05:40 - United States - Latonia

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26460

You deserved it

2444

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/2/2017 18:00 - United States - Peru

Classic Jeff

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8729

You deserved it

1489

Favorite

By dramateach11 - 3/4/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59717

You deserved it

10677

Favorite

By Spike - 29/3/2011 18:08 - United States

Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36041

You deserved it

3188

Favorite

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45933

You deserved it

24875

Favorite

By Sonotsuave - 17/5/2019 01:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1707

You deserved it

114

Favorite

By Sorry - 2/10/2014 23:51 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, it's my birthday. I've spent most of it apologizing to my parents for the "hassle" of "having" to arrange a simple birthday dinner. Sorry I was born, guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38146

You deserved it

3240

Favorite

By oh great - 9/8/2015 15:23 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22369

You deserved it

11356

Favorite

By Big Baby - 28/1/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7334

You deserved it

773

Favorite

By left-out - 17/2/2013 07:38 - United States

Today, my sister posted on her Facebook that she hates moving because of all of the packing that she and my family have to do. I didn't even know we're moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33909

You deserved it

2572

Favorite

By OhNo - 22/1/2016 21:28 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22425

You deserved it

3504

Favorite

By UnknownKitten - 3/5/2016 03:07 - United States - Elgin

Today, I returned home after a long day of work. I noticed that my kitten had gotten a hold of my pin cushion, and that there were no needles left in it. My husband and I have only managed to find one, out of 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13099

You deserved it

2005

Favorite

By happypineapple - 17/7/2014 03:31 - Australia - Scarborough

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40572

You deserved it

19785

Favorite

By Shenza - 17/6/2012 12:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24736

You deserved it

3002

Favorite

By samantha246 - 11/5/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23561

You deserved it

43057

Favorite

By "lk07" - 23/4/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1932

You deserved it

338

Favorite

By friendlessatwork - 2/10/2012 18:27 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, I got a coworker at my new job in trouble, because he kept harassing me and asking me out, even after I clearly told him I wasn't interested. Turns out he's very popular around here, and everyone now hates me for being a trouble-maker and not "taking a compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27591

You deserved it

3682

Favorite

By immovingout - 4/5/2013 17:46 - United States - Huntington Station

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56994

You deserved it

4718

Favorite

By Chatons - 5/12/2013 06:52 - Switzerland

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49118

You deserved it

7856

Favorite

By ouch - 15/6/2013 04:48 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44416

You deserved it

4849

Favorite

By Elmo - 16/2/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, is my brothers 16th birthday. He got keys to the Lexus. I'm 18, have no car, and got pajama pants and chapstick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73573

You deserved it

4065

Favorite

By somewhatlucky - 27/12/2011 09:42 - United States

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36929

You deserved it

3846

Favorite

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/1/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29755

You deserved it

7655

Favorite

By Bewildered - 10/9/2009 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53467

You deserved it

8595

Favorite

By wormsick - 6/12/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36859

You deserved it

3131

Favorite

By Mom - 25/7/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45745

You deserved it

26104

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/1/2015 21:40 - United States - De Forest

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31903

You deserved it

3729

Favorite

By BEE - 10/10/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10205

You deserved it

47321

Favorite

By nina - 11/8/2010 16:04 - Luxembourg

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9632

You deserved it

40711

Favorite

By The Last One - 11/3/2012 06:39 - Canada

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26671

You deserved it

2217

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#145128 - Sunday 26 April 2009 20:01

this is not how i'm supposed to spend college nights?

By Lady_Luck | 0

#145135 - Sunday 26 April 2009 20:02

I'm 17 and I just went to go check out this "Pixie Hollow" game. FML.

Comments

By fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#145128 - Sunday 26 April 2009 20:01

this is not how i'm supposed to spend college nights?

tha69ers | 0

#978489 - Monday 12 April 2010 4:38

that's not bad at all.

leadrunner751 | 3

#1363656 - Tuesday 7 September 2010 3:37

wait what DO most people do on Saturday nights then?

236schertzi | 1

#2661407 - Saturday 11 June 2011 16:43

Play Dungeons and Dragons

FailBear920 | 19

#3407965 - Sunday 9 October 2011 5:36

Masturebait....

By LyuboLove | 0

#145131 - Sunday 26 April 2009 20:01

it's all about having fun, man. no matter what you do or what age you are.

being in college doesn't mean fun has to constitute girls, alcohol, parties, etc.

don't stress it