Today, I finally started my dream job. I turned up for work with a huge smile on my face. Imagine how much my face dropped when I saw that I had to share an office with the girl I stood up last weekend. FML
Vanguard507's comment : More like imagine how she feels. Just saying.
Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML
by awkwardd / 05/19/2011 at 8:51am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
AlwaySunny's comment : you want a side of incest with that walk?
by stranded / 05/19/2011 at 7:46am / United States / Transportation
by ThisPerson / 05/19/2011 at 6:11am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/19/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
sxe_beast's comment : Were you driving a DeLorean?
by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day as an animal control officer. My first dispatch was to collect a dog that had been hit by a car. I had to clean up my dead dog on my first day of a job that barely pays rent. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Ally / 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Charles / 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy