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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (7291)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (7089)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26112) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8087) - you deserved it (42732)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22784) - you deserved it (40770)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

#13813552
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31504) - you deserved it (13206)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:46am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

#13813299
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (6101)

On 11/12/2010 at 9:06am - love - by Samipearl - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

#13812694
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10832) - you deserved it (30713)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (10990)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (4848)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in my drama class, my character in a play has to quickly jump up out from his desk. Somehow, my shirt got caught on the desk, ripping it almost completely off in front of a live audience. FML

#13810188
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (3050)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

#13810119
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (5463)

On 11/12/2010 at 12:37am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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