Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, "Isn't this your job?" and left. FML
by NoRespect / 05/22/2011 at 3:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
NaoPudding's comment : Parents these days. And they wonder why their kids turn out the way they do...
by Derek Lee / 05/22/2011 at 9:53am / United States (California) / Money
ambowew's comment : Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?
Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML
by Greig / 05/22/2011 at 8:18am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
CateXOX's comment : I think your dad has some serious issues...
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
by ninalian / 05/22/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Puerto Rico) / Health
by severedface / 05/22/2011 at 1:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML
by squirrels69ing / 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
by aridaley / 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 5:29pm / Denmark / Love
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
by woodchuck0022 / 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
by hahanosirr / 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by uetlqdja / 05/21/2011 at 11:31am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 10:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous