Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

#10512459
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8488) - you deserved it (43393)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19318) - you deserved it (10115)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML

#10509777
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28518) - you deserved it (12230)

On 05/13/2010 at 5:00pm - misc - by shit - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (26171)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (4344)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (8295)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

#10488066
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (2739)

On 05/12/2010 at 4:07pm - work - by ab1e - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

#10481687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (5410)

On 05/12/2010 at 5:49am - health - by nick - United Kingdom (London)

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

#10464786
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27296) - you deserved it (5195)

On 05/11/2010 at 11:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

#10462251
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (3858)

On 05/11/2010 at 4:56am - intimacy - by justsingle (woman) - Philippines

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

#10448158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (7526)

On 05/10/2010 at 6:14am - money - by boring (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: