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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (4085)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35874) - you deserved it (5922)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

#13822299
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (4486)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

#13822249
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by tmac05 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (9253)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML

#13821323
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10079) - you deserved it (35729)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm - work - by klm878 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (14207)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22498) - you deserved it (12224)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (7291)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37068) - you deserved it (7088)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML

#13816723
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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