Animals: Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking... - FML

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

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Same thing different taste

Alert!

By DamnDogs - 05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 603

You deserved it 4 070

By rimjob - 20/02/2010 10:36 - United States

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 850

You deserved it 43 007

By Yo mom - 27/12/2011 07:12 - United States

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 682

You deserved it 55 062

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 514

You deserved it 2 174

Awkward…

By ApolloandDixie - 23/12/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 232

You deserved it 35 362

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 191

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 974

You deserved it 1 791

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 226

WOOF!

By Dweeb - 02/10/2019 18:00

Today, I ran into a parked car and fell into the gutter. All because a dog suddenly barked at me. From the other side of a wooden fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 648

Good boy

By Chyna - 04/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I got locked out of my car while the engine was idling. The "good news"? My dog inside the car thought this was the funniest thing ever and barked happily every time I tried to open it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

Lisimal 7

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:07

Always listen to your dog! Shame on you.

EChan 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:25

Good thing it was only your car and your dog wasn't barking because your house was on fire.

Comments

SKYblue_fml 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:02

Um this is uber familiar as the typical conscience story... Not very original.

Rixxieee 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:06

So because you heard something similar before, it could never happen ever ever again. Ever? You know, because of all the possible things that can actually happen in this universe from another star being created to pulling a red sock out of a load of once white now pink washing, nothing could ever happen twice. You heard it here first folks.

spiffles 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 0:50

It just shows that people are always stupid. Even after they have already laughed at the same situation on FML.

Ninjasaurus18 9

Wednesday 9 May 2012 13:27

So this person's disaster isn't original enough for you? Bitch...

yohaun12 3

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:03

lol. second!! n e way. yeah. your shitty 4 dat

rayrayy_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:04

...what?

littlegolferboy 4

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:31

Buried for butchering the English language.

Egotistical 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:04

Wow. What's so great about being second? OP:Ydi and fyl

youthink_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:06

you may as well have a cat

Lisimal 7

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:07

Always listen to your dog! Shame on you.

plexico 3

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:12

You need to get The Dog Whisperer to come teach your damned dog some manners. If he keeps making so much damned noise, you're not going to get any car thieves to come to your place anymore. How would you like that?

EChan 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:25

Good thing it was only your car and your dog wasn't barking because your house was on fire.

chowyuk 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:25

there always the first to know

kittenmeow 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:34

youthink: is right dogs are suppose to bark and protect you. Get a cat!!!

rozzie 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:34

ur a dick

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 127

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 825

You deserved it 8 895

Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 78

Today, I got home and found out that, because of a burst pipe in their house, my husband's brother's family had moved in. They agreed to only smoke outside, but it’s on their clothes so the house already stinks of cigarettes, and their kids have already broken two things, a plate and the fridge door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 92

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 934

You deserved it 2 804

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 485

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 089

You deserved it 4 435