All the FMLs

By gabxoxo03 - 10/06/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 973

You deserved it 52 795

By leftbehind - 10/06/2011 11:40 - Colombia

Today, I was the only passenger on a completely booked flight to have all their luggage left behind in another country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 3 261

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 13 500

By stepsister - 10/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 516

You deserved it 4 082

By MakeMeASandwich - 10/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with, "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 353

You deserved it 8 956

By ouchmyeye - 10/06/2011 04:59 - United States

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn't see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 718

You deserved it 5 130

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 23:02 - United States

Today, my new iPhone was stolen from my school locker. After canceling my service, sobbing, having my mom yell at the secretary for their lack of security and finally agreeing to change to a private school, I found it in the corner of my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 061

You deserved it 81 322

Haircare protip

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 549

You deserved it 51 183

By anonymous - 09/06/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 350

You deserved it 4 152

Brain fart

By Username - 09/06/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 850

You deserved it 61 097

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 16:35 - United States

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 337

You deserved it 6 053

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 633

You deserved it 17 986

A little less conversation…

By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 514

You deserved it 7 627

Poor little guy

By CatLady - 09/06/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 351

You deserved it 6 052

Get a move on!

By Anonymous - 09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 672

You deserved it 5 150

By DrugDeal - 09/06/2011 01:24 - Canada

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 665

You deserved it 3 410

Vacation in Hell

By misc - 08/06/2011 17:52 - Netherlands

Today, while in Holland, I lost the bag with my passport, debit and credit cards, license, and camera. I froze my accounts and filled out the paperwork for a new passport. My bag was found the second time I went to the police, with everything in it. Now my accounts are frozen for the 3 weeks I'm here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 830

You deserved it 7 254

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 642

You deserved it 43 531

By Anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 3 546

By cheersdaddy - 08/06/2011 14:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 684

You deserved it 4 253

By Anonymous - 08/06/2011 11:22 - France

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 431

You deserved it 3 833

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 019

You deserved it 8 740

It's the final countdown

By Anonymous - 08/06/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 658

You deserved it 3 955

By Mik - 08/06/2011 03:05 - United States

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 136

You deserved it 32 216

By Bee - 08/06/2011 00:13 - Canada

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 948

You deserved it 8 323

Well played

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 798

You deserved it 6 289

By disappointed - 07/06/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 672

You deserved it 5 842

By Sickinbed - 07/06/2011 10:27 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 093

You deserved it 3 668

By S. Tucker - 07/06/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 856

You deserved it 3 620

Ominous

By IloveMaroon5 - 07/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, I found out that if your boss unfriends you on Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 904

You deserved it 4 421

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, you talked loud enough for me to hear you calling me the bad guy, while we’re in the same house. The walls are paper thin. After 19 years, I find out our friendship was a lie? That you used me just to make my parents happy? And I find out now, three weeks before I move out? This is beyond hurtful. I can’t take this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 153

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 438

You deserved it 16 613

Today, my phone ran out of space, so I downloaded an app to store all my photos online. After everything transferred, I deleted the 1,000+ photos from my phone, along with the "recently deleted" file since it was also taking up space. The app is now empty of all "downloaded photos". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 934

You deserved it 2 888

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 353

You deserved it 52 313

Today, having played golf for 15 years, I had my first hole in one. I was playing by myself. There were no witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 945

You deserved it 392

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 619

You deserved it 26 158