By Anonymous - 07/01/2012 02:22 - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 028
You deserved it 62 057

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Chillies on your willy!

At least you know where the burning is coming from...


Sorry buddy

Even if it wasn't chillies I wouldn't touch my penis after cooking without washing...

Common sense fails yet again.

What happened?

K_kanaka 26

OP's dick feels like it's on fire because the oil from super hot peppers that was on his hands somehow got on his dick. How did it happened? Maybe he had to take a piss or maybe he wanted to jerk off all I got say is it fricken sucks.

So u touch ur penis every time after cooking, wats that like an approval or something lol

jillianmathers12 13

That's hot!! Edit: Shit double post!

jillianmathers12 13

That's hot!!

JoshTheMaggot 8

So it doesn't make a good lube? Dang and all this time I thought the burn was a good thing

51- Would you happen to be from the french speaking part of Canada, because your english grammar sucks

75 - you didn't properly end your post.

That would of spiced up his love life

113- You shouldn't have even started yours, and speaking of starting sentances...

DKjazz 20

74- The burn means it working. Just cry through the pain, persevere, and after a much practice, you too can truly be called Numbnuts Redcock.

bamagrl410 31

Every single person who has tried to correct someone else's grammar on this thread has subsequently messed up their own sentences. All aboard the fail train.

115- *sentences.

11 - oh, washing might not be enough

#75 nah man I'm from the other part of Canada lol n #113 thanks to back me up here yea

74 I think it's time for you to test out the ultimate burning lube. Go get a Butch T pepper and have 911 on standby.

22cute 17

114 please, it's 'would have' NOT 'would of' try reading more and talking less.

SecretMe00 5

Why are people assholes to one another on here? I think there's more arguing going on then any other form of communication.

Don't tell me you fucked the pie you made with those pepper

#204 - than* Haha just kidding, but didn't you know that berating someone over the internet makes you a better person?

SecretMe00 5

Lol no... I guess I missed that memo.

Isaac_The_Man 0

Soap actually makes it burn when you piss too.

GuessWhatKids 13

113 - Or capitalize 'English'.

Now op knows what it's like to get a vd

How did you touch tht area on your body??

tjv3 10

Sorry OP but that should be a given

cummbubble 0

the ghost chili is absolutely unbearable to eat... straight pain

Kefka91 15

Yeah I've eaten one and it is stupidly hot. My mouth burned like hell for about an hour, I suffered with indigestion or something for the whole day, and finally ended up vomiting twice about 6 or 7 hours later. It burned coming back up too. I think I'd break down, go into the fetal position, and bawl my ass off if I got that kind of burning on my shlong...

I have a similar problem. I read the entire box and not a single warning from trojan about not protecting against cactus needles. fml.

268 - I'm guessing with his hand. Just a hunch, though. I could be wrong.

They should have added use common freaking sense.

Same thing happened to me except it was IcyHot

Jworret: agreed. Now, I'm just assuming that people have this common knowledge, but if you're skilled enough in the kitchen to be using Ghost Peppers, then you should know to wear gloves when handling them... I must admit though, I laugh when thinking of OP's reaction and facial expressions when the burn hit him. Yet, I'm conflicted because I know it hurt like hell!

Agreed. You would think that the package saying "do not touch eyes, nose etc." would probably also mean don't touch your dick. Sorry OP should have used some freakin common sense and used your RIGHT head instead of the other one.

116- You cook with IcyHot?

AlaskanEskimo34 0

Actually most people don't touch their penis when they're cooking so this is all on OP.

unitedfan11 0

The package should've also said " don't let dumbasses touch this."

Wincing while face palming

jewfroditmer 7

Or pet's penis...

You should never touch your pets penis...

Hey #68 There's a hugh difference between being lonely and bestiality,

poopyfacegirl 28


Or your... dad's penis...?

230- I don't think you really wanna know. Haha

csmith10100 4

what is wrong with u why would u even post something like that dude ur sick

I thought it was funny #3..kind of like, "you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you cant pick your friends nose."...except much sicker

Gogetajh 3

com-, come on bro, co-, come on......

69 dislikes ;)

Shadow9876 19

Why are you even thinking that you sick freak.

At least you know where the burning is coming from...

very good point

Op should get someone to kiss it better

brianfantana32 10

But seriously, why were you touching your penis?

Wouldn't that fall under the pets category?

#338 umm masturbating

338 - Maybe to go to the bathroom.

Chillies on your willy!

Just don't have sex ..

This sex is on fire!

SmallBean 12

Why wouldn't he have sex? Girls love it when guys' penis' are pepper flavored. They especially love the burning sensation it brings them.

Oh yeah, burning vagina is awesome..!

Slumdog Millionaire?

287-you know it

ragnorak6801 0

Ha ha ha! That made my day!

Must have had a really shitty day then

xSonic 9

That's what this site's for :)

brianfantana32 10

Would it make your day if your penis practically caught on fire?

Flaming hot penis anyone?

You definitely deserve this one haha sorry

biasedshooter 24

How? He probably took a whiz after cooking

markrs 0

Gotta let it burn...

I'm guessing it got a little "hot"

No quotations needed, it really did get hot...

Fried sausage, anyone? ... Too soon?