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LPS8585 tells us more.

OP here, firstly, there's a lot more to the story than I could fit in 300 characters. The dog that are the blanket is actually my well behaved one. She hardly ever eats anything. She didn't eat the whole blanket. Just chunks of it. She was in her kennel at the time because it's been raining and she's chosen to play in the mud. I'm renting a house with white carpet and I've also had to wash my sheets multiple times in one day due to the mud. So as soon as she comes inside, she goes in her kennel (if she's muddy. If she's not both dogs chill with me). She actually did stop chewing the blanket and started chewing her chew toy. She is a puppy. 7-8 months old, but she's not the hellraiser, the other one is. She was able to poop half of it out on her own, but she was running around with blanket coming out of her ass, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It was also 11 at night and the area I'm in doesn't have a 24 hour vets office. At this point, I think she's about to start going into her first heat cycle and this can cause dogs to have abnormal behavior. This was a first time thing and it won't be happening again. The reason there's a blanket in the kennels, is because I like my dogs to be comfortable.

ifunnybatman tells us more.

My husband had actually wanted kids more than I did. We were together 5 years before marriage he had never mentioned this before and we didn't have unprotected sex until the night we were married. Our son is 4 and these accusations sprung up after he read some stupid mock article about how one blow to the jewels can completely ruin a guy. I actually considered him rather smart up until this point Lol. He tried to claim he was joking once all the test came back but I know he wasn't. He hasn't treated our son any different though thank God. Anyway sorry for the long reply anymore questions I'll try to answer them. TL;DR: Husband is an idiot tried to play it off like a joke didn't work.

VocalizedBoar tells us more.

VocalizedBoar 6

No joke, all solar eclipse glasses were sold out. Even all the welding goggles were sold out at the hardware stores.