By Watchtower? More like fortress. - 19/10/2012 21:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 758
You deserved it 2 497

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Burning Jehovah's witnesses is a noble cause. Help him.

This is the best fml ever!! In the past, I have scared them off by answering the door naked, but I love this option!


Burning Jehovah's witnesses is a noble cause. Help him.

DarkHelmet 10

Yeah; that actual is a noble cause

My grandparents are Jehovah's witnesses. They no longer speak to us because they hate my father and because my family is Christian. Definitely a noble cause in my book.

Umm. I'm a Jehovah's Witness and your family isn't hated because of that. We don't hate because of people's religion. Frankly we don't hate at all.

Pretty sure Hitler thought that about the Jews (and many other people) and look how well that ended.

Indeed! I agree. Am soooo sick of haters.

Anyone else immediately think of Noble Actual after reading 23's comment?

23- what's an actual and where can I get one? More specifically, where can I get the ones that are two in one actuals and noble causes?

31- yeah, it gets pretty scary. I don't know if all the 'sects' are like that. But as far as I know once you get thrown out of if you refuse to join, they aren't allowed to speak with you anymore. The religion is literally considered a 'cult'. I don't know why you got thumbed down. It's true and very prevalent. My sister and I just called a 'cult help' hotline two days ago to set up an intervention. This guy she knows (who only talks to her because he's trying to convert her. He says he isn't allowed to speak with outsiders otherwise. Unless he works with them, then minimally) has been banned from talking to his entire family and he still follows it. It's some scary shit.

MatFHorn97 1

Exactly. Why do people insist we're a cult, and say we hate everyone who isn't in our religion? Seriously people, we are nothing but nice to you all. Yet we are still hated. People need to open their eyes.

One time, two Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door. I went and answered it, and when I said hello, they barged right in, trying to shove their shit onto me. Never ever even open the door if you know their there, they will invite themselves in.

Alright people come on... I'm a JW and joking or not this is kinda rough.

97 - Well as long as you don't come barging into my house trying to convert me you're all good in my book. ;3 really though. don't.

id just like to say they dont need to "sell" us their religion.

jarsah 0

I don't know where you get your information but JWs are not a "cult" or a "sect" they are just as much Christians as any other Christian religion maybe you people should do some research before you spout off hate comments with info you got from some random friend who knows nothing or your pastor who will tell you anything to keep you from listening to another religious point of view.

That is not true. Just because your grandparents are Jehovah's Witnesses doesn't mean they hate your parents. I am one and we don't hate other religions just because they don't believe the same things as us.

Where did you her that? That is not true at all. We aren't a cult. We are allowed to talk to people that aren't in our religion. We don't try and convert people, just tell them the truth about the bible. Please, before you go making crazy statements, make sure they are true.

52 Jehovah's Witnesses were prosecuted in the holocaust as well

quazimozart 19

My grandparents won't talk to my dad or mom bc they're disfellowshipped

Lost_Girl4 5
GuessWhatKids 13

"People annoy us, so it's okay for us to kill them." What the **** is wrong with you?

jaredofmo 22

SCARE them off, not KILL them. Pretty sure OP's dad isn't THAT crazy.

GuessWhatKids 13

29 - Ahh, my mistake. I had just read "burning" from #1 so that put images in my head ;P

-25, very mature attitude anyway. I wish there were more people with the same thought process on fml.

FlamingTacos 7

I'd use it to fight off spiders and zombies

CadillacPimpen 6

And to keep the tacos flaming!

117- Your name fits you perfectly. You just wrote a wrong. This is FML. Don't make minecraft references here.

"Oh, I've found Jesus alright!" *roast*

This is the best fml ever!! In the past, I have scared them off by answering the door naked, but I love this option!

This one kid I knew saw them coming, so he really quickly drew swastikas and all these anti-religious things on himself in marker, and when he answered the door they ran away crying XD

Greeting them naked is not as awesome as having them watch you ********** on your couch. (past fml)

Actually us jw's like it when you answer the door naked it gives us something to laugh at

I saw the JWs coming once while I was in the process of cleaning my .45 revolver. Let's just say I quickly reassembled it and made sure they saw me tuck it into my pants at the hip. "Never can be too sure with all the zombies starting to come out of the cemetery next door," I said. This was five years ago and they haven't been back since.

I use to be a jw for 15 years now I hate that religion

At least you'll be somewhat prepared for any zombie apocalypse situation...

Zombie Mormons are what come to mind. Oh god that's horrible, I'm having nightmares about them tonight.

59 - Why exactly do zombie Mormons come to mind?

62- Because I had a brain fart, that's why.

oj101 33

For some reason, the BURN! meme comes into mind...

SavingRyansPvts 4

Sounds like there's never a dull moment around him at least! That's probably not a good thing though..

Sulkiva 2

Let the fires of damnation rain down!! or... Sideways. ;D