Heatwave

Body heat management

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 83

Alexa, play "Here Comes the Summer" by The Undertones

By Uh oh - 03/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I put my AC in my room again in preparation for summer. However, I forgot that my cat messed up the accordion while climbing the window like an idiot, so it no longer closes properly. So there is now an opening in the window that I can't do anything about. Hello, insects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 178

Rah rah rah

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 574

You deserved it 5 097

Overcome

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to dress up as the school mascot for a big game. The costume was incredibly hot, and I ended up fainting on the field. When I came to, I was surrounded by worried kids and my head was in the lap of the opposing team's mascot, who was trying to give me CPR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 99

My kingdom for some peace and quiet!

By Yudith - 08/08/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 104

Southern states be like

By F*ckinghot - 19/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, as I have my entire life, I live in the south. However, our AC decided to break and now it's 91 degrees inside the house, even with fans on and the windows open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 119

Vampire mode

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 10:00

Today, my doctor put me on a new medication that came with the warning to stay out of the sun. I live in the desert and my country is having the highest temperatures recorded ever in human history. Guess I should stock up on white, long sleeve shirts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 137

Hope that's in Fahrenheit

By Cooked alive - 25/06/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in at least two years, the temperature exceeded 100 degrees in my area. Except this time, it nearly hit 110. Even with my fan and air conditioner on the highest setting, my room was still burning hot. It's currently 11pm and the temperature has gone down… to 81 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 156

It'll be over soon

By fat girl problems - 19/06/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my soon-to-be-ex saw me cleaning my creases with a wash rag, even though I’d showered earlier. To him that’s proof that I'd fucked someone else and was wiping away the evidence. To me it’s proof that I need touch ups throughout the day so I don’t stink. I sweat profusely and it’s over 90°F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 176

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 237

Appropriate work attire

By NiceShirt - 18/10/2022 21:00 - Japan

Today, I cycled to work. Since it was so hot out, I decided to go shirtless, then I would put it on before I entered the building. Ninety minutes later, I arrived at work. My shirt, however, was still at home on my dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 1 003

Alexa, play "Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 02:00

Today, I checked my local weather forecast. The highs are supposed to be 85-94°F (29-35°C) for 9 of the next 10 days. It's been 95-102°F (35-39°C) for the past week. I have no air conditioning. I'm so tired of this heat! Fuck climate change! FML

I agree, your life sucks 778

You deserved it 353

Oh, hi there!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 04:58

Today, I decided to go for a swim in a river to cool off. Not having a bathing suit, I went in nude. After a refreshing swim, and coming back to shore completely naked, I was greeted by a shocked young woman walking her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 420

Stink pits in the heat

By rie - 22/08/2021 16:01

Today, as always, I had to change clothes and reapply my deodorant as soon as I got to work. It’s only a kilometre walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 128

It's the new craze!

By seared well done - 21/08/2021 04:01

Today, I had to physically force my nephew to change his clothes after he tried to go out in long black jeans, a long-sleeved black shirt and a heavy black hoodie. It’s currently 106°F where we live. Apparently, heatstroke is the new trend, as several of his classmates are dressing the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 134

Heatwave

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 06:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it appears I’m allergic. My stomach inflates like a soccer ball and produces terrible gas, and I really don’t feel so good in general. What am I allergic to? Summertime. Every year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 91

Deal with it

By arron - 20/07/2021 15:01 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, in the middle of this heatwave, my mom has a fan in her bedroom and her precious dog has two fans pointing at her dog bed, which she apparently needs because she could overheat, poor thing. Meanwhile, I have zero fans in my room and can't sleep from the heat, but I get told to just deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 168

Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure

By Talented73 - 07/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Yonkers

Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 158

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 23:01 - United States - Steele

Today, after asking my family to quiet down at a restaurant, my mom told me to go outside. In 100+ degree weather. So I did, and after what seemed like an hour, my family ran out screaming because they thought I'd been kidnapped. I nearly got heatstroke to show my family that sensory overload is real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 310

By toobroketoprotest - 16/08/2019 20:00

Today, I found out that the higher-ups aren’t letting us use the break room anymore, so guess it’s back to eating lunch in my car while it’s 100°F outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 130

By NotJoeyEssex - 26/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was so lonely and bored, I thought about making the most of our current heatwave by giving myself heatstroke, just so I could talk to a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 1 172

Sweltering

By Anonymous - 11/05/2013 21:58 - United States - Reno

Today, my grandpa moved into the house to live with my family. Along with having to share a room with him, he swears that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 829

You deserved it 3 564

By asthmasucks - 19/09/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 240

You deserved it 3 591

How could you?

By passedoutpolly - 01/08/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 3 628

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The Top

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head, and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 462

You deserved it 63 796

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 426

You deserved it 55 583

The Top

Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 107

Today, the passport office lady asked, “You really wanna use THAT photo? Passports are valid for 10 years you know.” I thought it was a great photo of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 102

Today, I can't any peace and quiet in any room of my flat. The neighbours on one side are arguing, the other side are having very loud sex, the ones upstairs I suspect are playing some sort of games console, and downstairs daughter has been practising her violin badly all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 141

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 161

You deserved it 95 503

Today, my boyfriend asked why I’ve been so grumpy lately. When I told him it’s because our relationship has been severely lacking in intimacy, he sighed heavily and said, “Ugh, fine, let’s just get it over with!” Gee, thanks babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 339

Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 329

You deserved it 4 337