Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her Bluetooth headset. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me, telling me that I can't answer the phone anymore. Not because I do a bad job, but because a co-worker whined about it being her job. People call her and complain about how rude she is and then ask to talk to me. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML
Today, my boss pulled me aside to chastise me for being "off task" because I was chatting with a co-worker while working on a project. She then spent a half hour chatting with the same person about what daycare she should go to for her new baby. FML
Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML
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Top comments
SomeGuy1234 0
That sounds like a perfectly reasonable, professional and level headed response.
raged_fml 0
nice one ace
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Comments (148)
raged_fml 0
nice one ace
nosedive1994 0
I ******* hate Bluetooth headsets
kayladance101 13
same here nosedive! i always get so confused! :(
kmknotek 0
op your just a dumbass
violetrider123 3
was she making eye contact with you during that?
juicypu55y 0
Beahaharhahahaha darruuun that is sooo damnb fuunni i peed lik my pants omfg roolfling
censorshipoff 0
Remember to check both ears before commenting from now on.
SomeGuy1234 0
That sounds like a perfectly reasonable, professional and level headed response.
Green_Eyes_Pwn 0
Yes, very classy of OP, eh?
Casualt1234 0
Too many FMLs use "proceeded." This needs to end.
anonymous_guy 0
Proceeds to end.
FreedomFirst 0
I seriously cannot stop laughing. That is awesome.
24788 7
lol, I do this all the time at work. I never blow up in someones face though. I would probably say that to one of my managers though if she tried to back talk me.
gregthestrange 3
#3 is right. Way to resort to childish, immature behavior.
Hbkbryan 0
lol yea look at your picture
SadinSherman 16
I think it's awesome.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
#4- It's called complex sentence structure. There is nothing incorrect about it. Deal with it. And OP, try not being a prick next time. It'll do wonders for you.
Rockyio 0
hahahaha... retard. correction...jobless retard LOL!
HoldMeRansom 0
Way to keep your cool, slick.