FML : Holidays, Your everyday life stories

Today, after a week of severe gastroenteritis that required a hospital stay, I was finally feeling well enough to go in the pool at our holiday resort. My fiance slipped on the edge of the pool and we're back in the hospital. Happy vacation! FML

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By Travellingluck - / Friday 20 October 2017 16:12 /

Today, I had to try to explain to my stepsister that it's inappropriate to ask to borrow my mother's wheelchair to dress up 'like a cripple' on Halloween. When I told her my mother would need the chair on Halloween anyway, she suggested we just carry her around for the night. FML

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By stupidstepsister - / Thursday 12 October 2017 05:00 / Australia - Canberra

Today, while holidaying in Greece, I approached a cute girl in a club and offered her a drink in Greek. She said, "No Greek!" and then called me an "ugly kiss-ass" in English, thinking I wouldn't understand. I'm Australian. FML

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By Anonymous - / Sunday 10 September 2017 00:00 / Australia - Coogee

Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML

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By TheBuster - / Tuesday 5 September 2017 01:30 /

Today, I was supposed to be sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico. Too bad we only made it 37 miles before getting in a car accident. FML

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By atleastwedidntdie - / Saturday 2 September 2017 23:15 /

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

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By short&stout - / Saturday 26 August 2017 20:00 /

Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML

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By Xena - / Friday 25 August 2017 04:30 /

World

Indonesia

Today, whilst on holiday in Bali, I set off on my way to the day spa for 4 hours of much-needed relaxation. I tripped about a meter away from the entrance and broke my arm. FML

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By Anonymous - / Friday 25 August 2017 05:45 / Indonesia - Bali

Today, I waited 75 minutes for a roller coaster. I got on the front seat and it broke a few seconds before it started. It was closed for the rest of the day. FML

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By almost - / Tuesday 22 August 2017 16:00 /

World

Bangladesh

Not going, going back, back to Cali, Cali

Today, I found out I will not be moving back to California. My mom told me we were going to go on a 2 month vacation to see family in India. She decided we are staying for good. FML

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By WhatisLife - / Thursday 27 July 2017 09:00 / Bangladesh - Dhaka

FML's 10 worst summer job horror stories!

Working all Summer long, whether in retail or babysitting or any other job, is perfectly reasonable excuse to scream, "FML!" Here's...

By Alan - / Sunday 16 July 2017 20:00 /

Today, I had to call the hotel we were staying at to recover some items I had left. Those items consist of a cellphone, razor blades, used batteries, and a vibrator. They have nothing to do with each other, but yes, they're at the front desk. FML

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By "Nancy Marlin" - / Sunday 16 July 2017 13:00 /

Today, the first day of my 4-day weekend, I fell off my scooter. I'll have to spend the rest of my vacation bandaged and away from water. I'm on a beach. FML

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By Lulu - / Sunday 16 July 2017 00:30 /

Summer is BORING. Nothing to do? FML is here to entertain you!

Has everyone left town to go to the beach, or on a romantic getaway, while you sit at home, twiddling your thumbs. Don't worry, here's...

By Alan - / Saturday 15 July 2017 20:00 /

Today, I went to explore a beach that was rumoured to have big crabs on it instead of the usual small tide pool crabs. I found out that the rumours were true went I went to flip over a rock, which was in fact not a rock. I now have to explain to a doctor how I ended up needing stitches again. FML

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By AkaiKitsune - / Thursday 29 June 2017 04:00 /

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

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By elrjay - / Tuesday 20 June 2017 02:00 / Spain - Madrid

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By sue - / Wednesday 31 May 2017 00:00 /

Today, I was on a bus traveling from Denver to San Francisco with my boyfriend. We hoping to see some amazing sights and escape from stress. However, the bus breaking down in the middle of the desert and being forced to stay in a ratty motel was neither an amazing sight, nor stress relieving. FML

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By Quest for fun - / Saturday 20 May 2017 04:00 /

Today, unbeknownst to me, my wife cancelled our airplane tickets because she didn't want to face her fear of flying like we had agreed. Now, we're going to have to take another week off so I can drive 3000 miles cross country, while she sleeps in the shotgun seat because her licence expired. FML

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By Anonymous - / Thursday 18 May 2017 22:00 /

Today, on vacation, I had my first encounter with a macaw parrot, who promptly bit my ear and shat on me while amused tourists laughed and took pictures. FML

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By Devil's Pigeon - / Tuesday 18 April 2017 14:00 /

Today, my friend announced that she and her boyfriend were going to be taking a trip at the same time she and I had planned a trip. We had been planning this since January and I already got the week off work. I confronted her and she just said, "Oh. Maybe next year." FML

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By VacationAllIEverWanted - / Saturday 8 April 2017 04:00 /

Today, after months of saving up and planning with his office and friends, I told my boyfriend of 5 years that I'd booked us a surprise holiday to Berlin, as he's always wanted to go. His response was to tell me there's no way he could go because there's a new video game out the week before. FML

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By HolidayForOne - / Tuesday 14 March 2017 12:00 /

Today, my Valentine's Day plans consist of a court date. For what you ask? Domestic violence. The irony is not lost on my public defender. FML

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By Anonymous - / Tuesday 14 February 2017 00:01 / United States - Los Angeles

Today, 3 hours into a 7-hour flight, I only ate half the chocolate mousse that came with my meal and decided to give the rest to my boyfriend. While reaching for his tray, he mistook the action as me stealing his mousse. We spent the rest of the flight covered in sticky soft drink splatter. FML

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By stickyandwet - / Monday 30 January 2017 23:00 / Australia - Perth

Today, I realized I was at a top quality ski resort when, while riding the lift, I counted three bras which appeared to have been thrown into the trees from the lift. My little brother counted eight. FML

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By bras r expensive ppl - / Friday 27 January 2017 16:00 /

Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year. FML

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By alainopotato / Monday 2 January 2017 11:03 / United States - San Diego

Today, we had a New Year's Eve party at our new house. We invited 30 people. One person showed up. FML

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Phew, glad it wasn't me

By PartyLosers / Sunday 1 January 2017 05:27 / Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I had my daughters for New Year's Eve, since my ex-wife and her boyfriend were laid up with bad colds. According to Facebook, however, they were having a great evening out at the bar toasting in the New Year. FML

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By Darthstormer / Sunday 1 January 2017 03:02 /

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

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By Cinderstar95 / Wednesday 28 December 2016 09:34 / United States - Schererville

Today, I dropped the collection basket during Christmas Mass at my Catholic church. Money and checks fell all over the floor and everyone was staring at me. I was too stunned to even pick it up. There were about 1,500 people from our town there and my family won't stop bringing it up. FML

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By Anonymous - / Monday 26 December 2016 05:59 /

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