Captive

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 20:00

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 219

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Same thing different taste

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 875

You deserved it 6 657

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 3 036

I guess not

By Nick - 16/03/2009 05:08 - Canada

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 806

You deserved it 15 822

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 229

You deserved it 2 179

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 105

By womanlover12345 - 18/07/2011 16:05 - Spain

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 8 855

By wtf did i do?? - 11/01/2013 22:22 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 3 249

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 833

You deserved it 3 985

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 11:05 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 614

You deserved it 5 385

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 746

You deserved it 1 491

juggalo2 20

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

Comments

juggalo2 20

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

WistayShlaio82 13

Sunday 5 April 2020 21:26

I read this on Twitter too

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

pjsr 32

Monday 6 April 2020 4:01

I’m a guy who has been kidnapped and she is using me as her sex slave. Send help within the next two or three months, please!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 April 2020 4:30

Got it! Lube and Viagra are on the way!

limeychefboy 15

Monday 6 April 2020 11:16

Why is this fml? Should be you lucky bastard, she’s happy...for now...high ******* five brother! May the happiness continue

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 1 134

The Top

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 2 684

Today, my pharmacy was unable to fill my prescription for the only drug that works for an excruciating condition that I have. Only one company makes the drug and it's backordered for three months. I have one week left and then I’ll be forced into withdrawal. Without the drug, my life will be a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 150

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 021

You deserved it 3 141

Today, I accidentally said, "Hell yes!" in front of a potential employer and a group of kids before an interview at a daycare center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 3 738

Today, I installed a doggie door at my wife’s grandmother’s house. I was putting the door back on the hinges when I realized I had put it at the very top of the door instead of the bottom. I’m now trying to turn this hole into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 2 774

Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 567

You deserved it 5 372

Captive

Same thing different taste

I guess not

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

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