Captive

By Anonymous - 05/04/2020 20:00

Today, while eating dinner, my girlfriend looked at me, smiled and said, "I can't tell if this is love or Stockholm Syndrome, but either way I'm happy." I'm not sure what to make of that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 199

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 861

You deserved it 6 652

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 11:04 - Netherlands - Dronten

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 338

You deserved it 3 036

I guess not

By Nick - 16/03/2009 05:08 - Canada

Today, I was talking to this girl I have dinner with every week. She’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. She said, "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was, "Aren't we?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 775

You deserved it 15 812

By derve - 07/11/2012 23:48 - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 219

You deserved it 2 174

By womanlover12345 - 18/07/2011 16:05 - Spain

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 671

You deserved it 8 849

By wtf did i do?? - 11/01/2013 22:22 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 318

You deserved it 3 238

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 3 979

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 11:05 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 607

You deserved it 5 382

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 1 483

Classic line

By David - 29/10/2022 22:00

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 97

juggalo2 20

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

Comments

juggalo2 20

Sunday 5 April 2020 20:49

Maybe let her out of her leg iron and find out?

WistayShlaio82 13

Sunday 5 April 2020 21:26

I read this on Twitter too

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 April 2020 22:22

Some guys have all the luck! I'm all alone when I could use a good hostage right now. I mean, girlfriend.

pjsr 32

Monday 6 April 2020 4:01

I’m a guy who has been kidnapped and she is using me as her sex slave. Send help within the next two or three months, please!

RichardPencil 30

Monday 6 April 2020 4:30

Got it! Lube and Viagra are on the way!

limeychefboy 14

Monday 6 April 2020 11:16

Why is this fml? Should be you lucky bastard, she’s happy...for now...high ******* five brother! May the happiness continue

Keywords

Awkward Love Relatable Students Work Racism Relationship advice Health Cheating Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Parenting Kids Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 86

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 075

You deserved it 18 229

The Top

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 7 710

Today, my grandmother got my future mother in law's phone number somehow. She managed to upset her so much that my fiancé now wants to call off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 803

You deserved it 914

Today, my wife is visiting her nana, which I hate because she comes home full of Catholic guilt, meaning I'll have to spend the next few months wasting my Sunday mornings in church, until her guilt wears off and her normal Sunday morning laziness resumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 272

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 077

You deserved it 3 203

Today, our bathroom is so cold that my shea butter and homemade coconut oil toothpaste are too hard to get out of the jar. Yes, that’s the same room I get naked in twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 205

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 685

You deserved it 8 612

Captive

Same thing different taste

I guess not

Classic line

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