Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML
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By
LaColombianita
| 26
You do what you gotta do to keep your ass clean.
By
abbyhoneywaffles
| 11
That would be awful. The fluff comes off of those things so easily.. That shit must be all up in your areas.
COMMENTS
By
LaColombianita
| 26
You do what you gotta do to keep your ass clean.
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
Another reason Valentines sucks ass, that would never happen on Easter...
Reply
SecretMe00
| 5
There's no connection. I've used cotton balls to wipe my ass and I've been with my man for 5 years.
Reply
thiscrazything
| 1
What just happened here?
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Akai_fml
| 4
Easiest way to keep your ass clean in an emergency situation is to take a shower immediately after eliminating, then going out to buy some TP. I'm at a loss why the OP needs friends to get her TP and why anyone would consider cotton balls.
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angrymexican
| 8
Better than sandpaper!
Reply
nikkub1289
| 1
Valentines day=single's awareness day
Reply
maxmex13
| 7
I know this isn't related to the FML, but your picture is hilarious, #1 :)
By
mama2b3
| 20
You are very resourceful!
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wittygirl
| 8
Thank you Captn obvious.
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RussianFox
| 13
Captain* Seriously if your going to try and sound like a smartass atleast spell correcty
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RussianFox
| 13
At least* Correctly* dang auto correct.
Reply
PaulB123
| 11
Pretty sure auto correct doesn't take a properly spelt word and misspell it, so this is just pure irony.
Tke ur own advisse bud.
Tke ur own advisse bud.
Reply
AFCA020
| 4
And he probably means 'damn' autocorrect ... Irony indeed
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RussianFox
| 13
Nope I meant dang.
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StromyG2
| 10
Too bad auto correct didn't change "your" to "you're" add a space between "at" and "least". Seriously, if you're going to try and sound like a smartass, at least spell and space correctly.
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KeyboardWarrior
| 10
28 I'm starting to think your name is a lie. You seem to be less witty with every comment you make.
Reply
capper44
| 18
#42: people like you should be kicked every day ... Its anyone's wish how they wanna spell any word, moreover why dont u jst coment on fml and mve oN!!!!
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downtime
| 12
58, You're a sdak. That's how I spell 'dumb fuck'.
Reply
Mister_Triangle
| 21
I once had to choose between using the leftover cardboard tube or a nearby newspaper. Wasn't really that hard of a choice
By
ninjuh_wingman
| 29
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
yahoowizard
| 16
Yeah, they have a toilet paper dispenser for the workers there
Reply
Branflakes78
| 13
No it says on the way home from work! Plz learn to read.
By
abbyhoneywaffles
| 11
That would be awful. The fluff comes off of those things so easily.. That shit must be all up in your areas.
By
jabfinch
| 9
God gave you two feet, and if not you've got a wheel chair. Lazy ass.
Reply
rattusrattus
| 18
To be fair, they're in America. It's not like Britain where you're always within walking distance of a shop that does bog roll. Or milk. Or basic stuff.
Reply
wittygirl
| 8
#5 is from America he's just forgot to put ok his thinking cap before applying critical thought. Happens to the best of us.
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rattusrattus
| 18
I have heard stories of a shopping centre in the US where there are parking spaces in front of each individual shop, and people drive from shop to shop. It's probably quicker to walk in that instance. And on holidays in some parts of the North American Continent, my family and I have been stared at for our pedestrian ways.
Taking a car everywhere is understandable if your house is in the middle of nowhere, but I really don't get driving around a car park.
Taking a car everywhere is understandable if your house is in the middle of nowhere, but I really don't get driving around a car park.
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
That's cause there's nothing to get, some people are weird like that. I personally will go downtown park my truck in the middlish of everything. Unless there's rain that is.
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luccmon
| 6
I feel like the Americans that do that are more on the elderly side. Or it's cold and you don't want to spend all of your time walking back to your car with bags in hand. But anyway Americans also make fun of the other Americans that do this sort of thing lol
Reply
jabfinch
| 9
I'm actually from Colorado, and there are convenient stores within in a few miles of several houses there. I applied critical thought. I'm just not lazy. Unlike the other 99.99% of Americans.
Reply
Livzii
| 5
Can everyone please stop being so rude to Americans?! Every country has lazy people in it, and people say malicious things about Americans because everyone else does. So even though OP is American doesn't necessarily mean that they're too lazy to get off their arse and go to the store. And before you ask, I am British.
Reply
djsamixin
| 3
I live in north america, but am not sure what kind of stores you write of. lol
By
Hopes_Reprimand
| 6
Why don't you just call a cab? Walk? it can't be that far to a convenience store. Use paper towels perhaps?
If you're feeling really daring you could take a bus, but that's not for the faint of heart. Pick a seat next to the wrong person and you'll end up with a new story to post on fml...
If you're feeling really daring you could take a bus, but that's not for the faint of heart. Pick a seat next to the wrong person and you'll end up with a new story to post on fml...
Reply
thenomad
| 7
OP could use many things that are found around the house such as napkins, paper towels, tissues, paper, washcloths, etc.
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Keebz_02
| 0
Sock perhaps?
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rattusrattus
| 18
The bus is just a font of FMLs. They spew forth with vigour.
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Michael_92
| 20
Okay am I the only person that thinks maybe walking won't work. I live in the middle of nowhere and there are no cabs, no buses, and the nearest store is 3.5 miles 1 way.
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rubberduckie94
| 13
I am with you. No public transport here and we are ten miles from nearest store. There are a bunch of city dwellers here. ; ).
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downtime
| 12
Specifying there is no other mode of transportation would avoid confusion.
By
CaliGali
| 9
Get in the shower and wash up before bed to make sure it's really clean
By
Pwib
| 14
Just take a shower and be sure to scrub well.
By
cBlackout
| 13
Could be worse. Imagine if you could only find duct tape -.-
Reply
Airborn0280
| 18
Or sandpaper.
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
Then I might do as 8 our 9 suggested...that's just me though.
Reply
StromyG2
| 10
Or your puppy.
By
LunaDragon
| 10
Better than wiping down with your phone. (Previous fml reference)
Reply
homeboyangst
| 17
Or two ten dollar bills!
(Also a previous fml reference)
(Also a previous fml reference)