Marriage

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 22/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 142

Paper day

By bill - 20/02/2025 18:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, it's mine and wife's one-year anniversary. After only being married for a year, I quickly understood what her father really meant when he said, "Your problem now" and chuckled at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 150

Same old, same old

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it was our 19 year wedding anniversary. When I mentioned this to my husband, all he did was grunt at me and never brought it up again for the rest of the day. I didn't get anything. No flowers, no card, no dinner, nothing. Oh, and I also had to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 184

Choose your path to happiness

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our daughter got in a fight with her dad because she isn’t sure if marrying her boyfriend will make her happy. Her dad then said, "Well which do you want, to be happy or to be married? Because you can’t have both." We’ve been married for 32 years so it hurt hearing him say that. It hurt a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 158

Yours or theirs? Or both?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 04:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 137

GHOSTS!

By fml_anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 446

You deserved it 4 425

Babe, I have something to share…

By Anonymous - 08/12/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 157

This whole marriage is a scam

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 11:00

Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 95

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 06:00

Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 162

Red flags everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 15:00

Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 204

There is no "normal"

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 02:00 - United States - Aldie

Today, two years after my toxic and self-centered ex-wife left me, I got remarried, but I feel like it broke my trust in people, which I used to. I now feel I don’t do enough for my present; I do better than most and have got more than average people, but I'm still too hurt and depressed to be normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 206

Fishy

By Cheated - 05/09/2023 22:00

Today, it’s my honeymoon. I waited patiently for a year and a half to have sex since I respected her “No sex before marriage” rule. However, my new wife has a new rule: “Sex is for procreation and I’m not ready to have children yet.” How much longer should I wait to make love to the one I love now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 486

Misty and Captain

By i hate you bluey! - 04/08/2023 14:00

Today, thanks to that stupid ass blue dog, our kids haven’t stopped hounding me about when their dad and I are getting married. They’re too young to understand, so I try to gently change the subject. That worked for about 5 minutes before they were right back to asking. Holy uncomfortable subject Batman! FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 744

Time to tap out

By Staying single - 25/06/2023 13:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 1 164

Cliché

By MoaRcofuzed - 23/06/2023 12:00

Today, after 5 years of dating and not even so much as a hint of a ring on the horizon, I asked my boyfriend why he hasn’t proposed yet. His response was “Babe, I’m not gonna pay for the cow when I get the milk for free.” What does that even mean? FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 487

Bridezilla

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 06:00

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 232

Love is love

By Anonymous - 19/05/2023 12:00

Today, my 21 year-old daughter sent me the longest, violent, most hateful text I've ever seen in my life. Apparently she opposes me marrying her best friend of 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 2 456

Mommy's boy

By HellFuckingNo! - 04/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, while wedding planning, my future MIL complained that the archway was too small for three people. Seeing my confused look, she explained, “Didn’t he tell you? I’m going to be at the altar with you two during the entire ceremony!” He even bought her a ring so she doesn’t feel “left out”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 176

Troublemaker

By adult now - 23/04/2023 03:00

Today, my fiancé said he’s now having second thoughts about us getting married, all because my ex contacted him and told him that our relationship had ended because I'd cheated on him. I was literally 15 years-old and I didn’t even have sex, I just made out with another boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 383

Alexa, play "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 22:30 - Australia

Today, after enduring years in a sexless marriage, I asked my wife if she will make love to me ever again, to which she replied, "Probably not." Half an hour later she's talking about us going on a trip to Egypt next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 262

Dead in the water

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 00:00

Today, my marriage must be over. We just spent a week in Paris, the most romantic city in the world, and we never left our hotel room. Not because of constant sex but because my wife couldn’t be arsed to get dressed, be romantic or anything. She sat on her tablet watching Netflix IN FUCKING PARIS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 168

Bleak expectations

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 18:00

Today, I finally realized that my husband doesn't love me, but loves the concept of marriage, as many Christians come to love to appease whoever they must. This is destroying the marriage I envisioned for us and building one of regret, resentment, and even hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 214

I'm a burden

By Anonymous - 24/01/2023 08:30 - United States - Highland

Today, my boyfriend of almost five years told me, due to health issues, he can't move in with me or propose to me. He knows I support him, but if it was a serious health issue, wouldn't he want to be married, knowing I'm there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 188

Just tradwife things

By Fapmaster - 07/01/2023 03:00

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 794

Lord of the lost rings

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 18:00

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 134

It's not me, it's you

By LoserSingleDude - 09/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 165

All you need is love

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 00:00

Today, one of my sisters is getting married to the guy who bullied me so badly in high school I attempted suicide twice. She insists he’s changed, like I’m supposed to give a fuck. Every time he comes in the house, I want to either run and hide, or stab him in the face and cut off his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 187

It's not for everyone

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 02:00

Today, it's our 30 year 'no-wedding' anniversary, as in 30 years since she refused to marry me. I mean, we’ve only been together 30 years, have 4 adult children, 6 grandchildren, a house we jointly own, and a retirement villa waiting for us in Tuscany, and yet she doesn’t want to marry me, ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 836

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 539

Terminally online

By mr_loveless - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 754

You deserved it 10 947

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 451

Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 151

The Top

Today, I found out that because I, like many others, don't read the terms and conditions, I accidentally donated £200 to a charity because of a non-refundable payment on a volunteering trip. It's my parents' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 3 175

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 987

You deserved it 5 742

Today, my wife stopped mid blowjob because it tasted too clean, like my mint shower gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 839

You deserved it 277

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 420

You deserved it 4 555

Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 764

You deserved it 5 117

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 355

You deserved it 4 804