By B - 04/02/2012 01:17 - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 493
You deserved it 3 419

Same thing different taste

Top comments

xoxokelsey11 5

Obviously she's trying to give you another hernia.


Wow, isn't it usually the other way round?

There are more then one way to have sex...

SW500 13

Even after you are cleared for sexual activity it's always more painless to wait a week or two...

Maybe a sponge bath would spark the mood

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Was I the only one that thought oral sex would be an adequate solution to the problem?

tjv3 10

Take one for the team lol. Just go nice and slow

131, Yes that would make sense if they weren't bed-ridden from pain. The bitch has fully functioning hands she can use.

xoxokelsey11 5

Obviously she's trying to give you another hernia.

I gave that bitch a hernia. Bitches love hernias.

I gave that bitch a cannon. Bitches love cannons.

HetaliaFreak 10

I gave that bitch a carrot. Bitches love carrots.

I gave that bitch a bitch. Bitches love dogs.

I see what you did there. C-C-C-Combo breaker...

Well maybe y'all could reverse it ;) lol that sucks and I hope you feel better ^_^

Does your wife not gravitate the severity of a hernia? Those things are hellish.

dcg1375 7

Gravitate the severity of a hernia??? Whatever!!! The dude is laid out in bed! It doesn't matter what the reason! It could be flu, strep, or herpes...if someone is sick then don't be selfish. Take care of them, go get your own self off. They are married; they have plenty of time to meet each others needs. If you love someone it's not just about you.

44, 4 was on the husband's side. Idiot.

44 probably feels stupid after re-reading the comment...

I don't think you understand the meaning of gravitate.

Don't you mean grasp or something? Gravitate is not being used correctly in this context.

It's okay 44, big words are hard to understand

Uh 95 do you know what gravitate means? Cause it's definitely not being used in the right context in 4's statement. Makes me wonder if big words are hard for you to understand.

Although 44 does deserve to be thumbed down for replying to #4 like that, #44 is still right. He had to right to say no, and if OP was ill, whether for a big thing, or a smaller thing, his wife should accept him saying no, and take care of him.

dcg1375 7

I do deserve to be thumbed down. My apologies 4, I was drunk FML replying. I do stand by what I said, however not in such a harsh tone. And I do understand what gravitate means, but no it was not used in the right context in 4's reply. Ok, I think that's all the damage control. And thank you 114. I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson here. Do not FML reply drunk.

I'm just saying the door swings both ways, he gets pleasure without hurting himself and she quits nagging.

...Am I the only one who thinks that if OP has an excruciatingly painful hernia, he won't be able to go down on his wife? OP doesn't want sex (with a very valid reason), his wife should accept that. How simple can it be?

#98 He meant the wife going down on OP...

Ya but that's not what the wife is wanting, she wants to be pleasures and is throwing a bitchfit cause she's not getting anything. If she was offering to go down on op, I'm not 100% but, I'm pretty sure there wouldn't have been this fml.

I think surgery is more important and she shouldn't be mad about get her a sex doll for when you can't

I can't tell if that sign is supporting or anti gay activist. Maybe it's just a statement.

a man turning down sex?!?! mind blown. oh he was so injured that he couldn't move ? ?? in that case, my mind is..... still blown.

Lol. You always know what to say phat. :)

nah. just a bored sarcastic teen who's never experienced a hernia and also doesn't have the declining sex drive of a 50 year old. I'd say that rationalizes my comment pretty well ;)

jfaucher31 4

Sometimes you gotta take one for the team. Man up!

Man up?!? Why don't you go get a hernia and then try to bang someone?

People like you are the reason why I hate that "man up" phrase. What, are men not allowed to feel pain or turn down sex? I can understand telling somebody that if they're crying over a paper cut, but I hear that hernias are far worse. Get one for yourself and tell me how it goes. Hopefully you'll change that jackass attitude of yours.

Angelrose2004 17

Buy her a toy. They work almost as good; plus it can make things steamy in the bedroom. You win twice!

Mister_Triangle 21

Plus, OP could use it for a free prostate exam! Given his health complications, nothing can be left to chance

Watch after the surgery she's never gunna want to have sex