The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 06/03/2017 18:00

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 228

You deserved it 387

By WhoIAm - 15/01/2018 10:00 - Canada - Salisbury

Today, after thinking it over for 3 months and finally landing on the subject naturally, I was about to come out to my mom as bisexual when she said, "I have nothing against people who are gay, but people who are bisexual make me uncomfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 225

You deserved it 654

Hatchet job

By Anonymous - 24/01/2018 01:30

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 222

You deserved it 370

By FarewellRalphs - 24/05/2017 20:00

Today, I went grocery shopping with my grandmother. Our bagger offered to help load our groceries, to which my grandmother replied, "Oh, what a nice young colored boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 219

You deserved it 360

Bed move

By wellokthen - 26/11/2019 18:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 219

You deserved it 290

Apparently not.

By Dez - 26/11/2017 19:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend texted me asking, “We are in an open relationship, right?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 216

You deserved it 428

By Anonymous - 23/06/2017 04:00

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 214

You deserved it 606

By tazthespaz - 29/12/2016 03:18 - United States - Comstock Park

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 214

You deserved it 396

By Iceicebaby - 15/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after getting out the car and closing the door, I began walking and slipped on some black ice. In the moment of panic, I grabbed onto my car wing mirror. Luckily, I didn't hit the deck. Unluckily, the wing mirror broke off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 211

You deserved it 673

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 207

You deserved it 613

By Literal Baby-Daddy - 02/07/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Middlesbrough

Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 206

You deserved it 706

Looking forward to it

By OkieThePokie - 07/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 198

You deserved it 460

It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 198

You deserved it 225

Locked out

By ClumsyKatey - 02/07/2017 22:00

Today, due to an incident with the dishwasher, a coat rack and my bathrobe, I ended up locked out of my house, naked as a jaybird. I had to hide in the backyard for several hours until my family got home from their various activities to get back in. They still haven't stopped laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 197

You deserved it 1 121

What? It's just helpful advice because we know better.

By Moimoi78 - 01/02/2017 05:00 - Australia - Eatons Hill

Today, I introduced the concept of 'mansplaining' to my husband. Ever since, he's been deliberately mansplaining every single thing to me. All. The. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 196

You deserved it 5 169

By Anonymous - 15/03/2018 15:00 - Spain - Marbella

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years and I announced our engagement to my family. While congratulating us, my sister couldn't help bursting into tears. I thought they got on well, he thought they got on well, she has been in love with him for the last 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 194

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 15:00

Today, I got back to my car with a note cussing me out for parking in a disabled space when I’m clearly not disabled. They also smashed my windows. It’s true, I’m not disabled, but I also wasn’t parked in a disabled space. I was parked in a normal space next to the disabled spaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 193

You deserved it 229

Hott

By disturbedgd - 03/04/2017 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It involved the Power Rangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 192

You deserved it 1 117

By Anonymous - 19/05/2018 01:30

Today, after dating a guy for 2 months, things seemed to be going well. I offered to buy dinner and trusted he would keep in mind that I'm a college student on a budget. He picked the restaurant, ran up the bill over $100, made me pay, and dumped me right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 192

You deserved it 681

By Anonymous - 01/06/2017 18:00 - Australia

Today, I'm a youth worker. I drove 7 hours to visit a teenage girl I have been working with, and who recently moved. Due to roadworks, it took me 2 hours longer than expected. When I arrived, she told me to fuck off and closed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 189

You deserved it 550

By Anonymous - 23/05/2017 14:00

Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 187

You deserved it 323

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 186

You deserved it 597

By holywowz - 17/05/2017 18:00

Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 185

You deserved it 373

By ashamed - 22/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in an effort to be more healthy, I bought a pack of protein bars as a substitute for snacks. I ate all 5 of them in one sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 4 355

#winning

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Lakeville

Today, I placed $20 in a slot machine at a casino and in a matter of 5 minutes lost it all. My sister then sat at the same machine, put her $20 in and quadrupled her money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 2 036

Not really my problem, but OK

By wtf - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I got yelled at multiple times by my boss because my boyfriend didn't show up to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 183

You deserved it 510

Hello there

By My eyes were on the prize - 12/03/2017 00:00

Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 182

You deserved it 1 132

Dad! No!

By Ginger - 08/07/2017 16:30 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 179

You deserved it 550

Happy Birthday

By Birthday Boy - 06/12/2017 05:00

Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 179

You deserved it 352

he ded

By Anonymous - 27/03/2018 01:30

Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 178

You deserved it 358

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 3 959

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 487

You deserved it 3 271

Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 501

You deserved it 3 746

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 275

You deserved it 2 566

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 125

You deserved it 6 704

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 663

You deserved it 59 296