Kids: Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me...

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 175

You deserved it 595

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 079

You deserved it 441

By BadDad - 30/04/2017 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 804

You deserved it 679

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 058

You deserved it 483

By blewidstepr - 16/05/2011 03:40

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 6 393

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 559

You deserved it 512

By Dafawk - 19/06/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 286

You deserved it 6 491

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 941

You deserved it 424

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 769

You deserved it 807

By Anonymous - 08/04/2017 12:00

Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 741

You deserved it 602

By mommylife - 15/04/2015 04:17 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 3 955

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:24

That must have really pissed you off!

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

Been there, done that. Welcome two having two toddlers

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:24

That must have really pissed you off!

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:17

????

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:17

It's better to be "Pissed Off" than "Pissed On"

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

Been there, done that. Welcome two having two toddlers

jtsmommy 11

Monday 17 April 2017 0:26

*to

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 April 2017 0:30

*Welcome too having Thieu toddlers. YWIA

Glowworm56 26

Monday 17 April 2017 1:30

Sounds like it was a piddle of a puddle to play in.

mattyiscool123 26

Monday 17 April 2017 3:46

Shut up

bigred121970 10

Monday 17 April 2017 4:16

Leave it up to the little kids to do something bigger kids would rather die than do.

pjsr 32

Monday 17 April 2017 4:18

You need to get a litter box in there

Bearsmomma 30

Monday 17 April 2017 10:13

That made me lol on a level unnecessary. Idk why. Very funny!

Argotdroom 21

Monday 17 April 2017 15:20

Two boys? Urine trouble!

RockPrincess26 16

Monday 17 April 2017 20:36

CinemaSins: "Kids." *ding*

Keywords

Money Health Stressed out Awkward Work ADHD Mental health Gross Poopoo peepee Relatable Parenting Kids Anger issues Family Funerals Drugs Roommate Love Lonely Weird Break-ups AITA Parents Food Miscellaneous Annoying Cooking Road rage Transportation Music

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I agree, your life sucks 45 491

You deserved it 15 184

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

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You deserved it 24 624

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 8 053

You deserved it 55 695

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You deserved it 7 556

Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 231

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 598

You deserved it 58 842

Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 588

You deserved it 3 418

Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML

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You deserved it 666

Same thing different taste

Learning curve

So sweet

That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

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