Health: Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 230

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 3 270

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 962

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 83

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 154

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 113

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 127

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 046

You deserved it 9 043

By watersport - 10/03/2010 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 166

You deserved it 4 323

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

StevoKing666 18

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:10

Congrats on the six pack

oiler 21

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:12

A 6 pack without the hassel? Nice!

Comments

oj101 33

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:09

6 packs are a function of having low enough body fat. Keep having diarrhea and you'll be there in no time!

hasooon 24

Sunday 22 November 2015 0:06

StevoKing666 18

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:10

Congrats on the six pack

oiler 21

Sunday 22 November 2015 0:49

I was going to post this but tou postes right before me. FML

NicoTaylor1005 18

Sunday 22 November 2015 2:16

"You posted right before me" you say, as commenter number TWENTY TWO to number TWO. I don't think you know what "right before" means

xyris_fml 28

Sunday 22 November 2015 3:21

@28, this comment was 2, his comment saying the same thing was 4.. That's what he was referring to

Colon_Man 17

Sunday 22 November 2015 14:23

Three pack. It was only half true.

oiler 21

Monday 23 November 2015 4:18

This honestly does need a follow up

WinterChild 20

Saturday 21 November 2015 23:11

Hopefully you had enough time to clean up without him finding out.

friday9733 11

Sunday 22 November 2015 2:53

Can't have a friend seeing your dirty six pack

oiler 21

Sunday 22 November 2015 3:56

Yea cant let him see that six pack of pudding

Brandi_Faith 33

Sunday 22 November 2015 7:39

This is so horrible, and yet so funny at the same time. Definite fly! I can't help but wonder how bad it was and if you were able to clean up at all? Did the undies have to go straight in the garbage? What about your pants? Were those dirty too? Did you have to borrow a pair of pants from your friend? The situation is just so bad but I can't stop laughing.