Love: Today, my boyfriend of 4 years and I announced our engagement... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 62

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 32

15/03/2018 15:00

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years and I announced our engagement to my family. While congratulating us, my sister couldn't help bursting into tears. I thought they got on well, he thought they got on well, she has been in love with him for the last 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 155

You deserved it 269

Triage

Masked Singer

Shitpants blues

Looks

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 332

27/10/2010 05:58

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 772

You deserved it 42 473

04/06/2011 19:48

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 831

You deserved it 3 300

The price is wrong

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 08:01

Today, I have to pay a $20 customs fee on the replacement charging cord for my tablet pen, bringing the total up to $60 I’ve paid for this $4 cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 273

20/08/2009 13:23

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 400

You deserved it 47 931

Clipper time

By azurekitten - 07/06/2021 07:59

Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 079

04/10/2017 20:51

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 414

30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 481

You deserved it 521

04/02/2010 10:47

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 721

You deserved it 16 723

22/08/2011 00:03

Spicy

Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 581

You deserved it 2 793

26/02/2016 21:12

Today, I was using my headset while gaming, and another player couldn't stop laughing at the hilariously high-pitched voice I was putting on. He thought I was mocking the pre-pubescent squeakers on our team. Nope, that's just my natural voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 511

You deserved it 2 389

12/08/2014 06:23

Today, it's been 10 days since my family and I have been visiting France. I've always wanted to try their culinary specialties but my dad says we "can't trust them". We've eaten at McDonald's 9/10 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 215

You deserved it 3 991

08/10/2010 05:23

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 783

You deserved it 5 436

12/09/2010 11:34

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 501

You deserved it 4 906

26/03/2012 10:53

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 287

You deserved it 30 172

01/06/2010 06:05

Today, I spent ages applying for a scholarship on-line. I found out on the very last page that I do not meet the qualifications for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 849

You deserved it 11 034

13/05/2015 16:00

Spicy

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 982

You deserved it 3 174

28/04/2011 19:29

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 042

You deserved it 2 742

No kinkshaming here

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 11:00

Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 1 226

22/05/2009 08:36

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 997

You deserved it 2 858

27/07/2010 22:15

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 699

You deserved it 30 283

31/05/2010 11:59

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 124

You deserved it 35 880

08/01/2016 21:57

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 755

You deserved it 4 616

17/01/2010 19:59

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 692

You deserved it 32 740

28/11/2008 06:30

Spicy

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 823

You deserved it 7 569

26/04/2016 05:04

Today, I started a new job. The synopsis of my training was, "You're starting a job you're going to hate and you'll be fired for entertaining yourself while waiting for us to give you more work. But you're going to love being here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 446

You deserved it 1 895

31/01/2012 06:22

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 071

You deserved it 4 863

11/08/2015 23:05

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 340

You deserved it 3 122

12/06/2012 03:56

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 368

You deserved it 3 941

19/07/2012 20:05

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 708

You deserved it 3 527

Things ain't changed much

By anon - 29/08/2021 12:01

Today, I was telling my dad that scientists had discovered a new sea creature. He said it was all BS and that scientists just make things up to cover conspiracies. I'm a biological sciences major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 082

You deserved it 1 733

01/03/2009 00:50

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 725

You deserved it 3 232

06/09/2009 05:44

Spicy

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 838

You deserved it 14 669

28/07/2013 07:45

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 577

You deserved it 9 236

26/12/2016 08:29

Today, my ex-boyfriend called me. I was really excited, thinking he wanted to get back together. He just wanted to get back the Christmas present he gave me before we broke up so that he could return it for cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 253

You deserved it 1 003

31/12/2008 03:48

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 2 433

19/06/2012 16:08

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 898

You deserved it 5 091

30/06/2010 00:39

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 850

You deserved it 28 834

19/10/2012 18:27

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 010

You deserved it 5 763

10/06/2019 18:00

Today, my 12-year-old son came home after a week with his father. He was still wearing the same socks and underwear I sent him out with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 209

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Top comments

almost_there44 26

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:09

Now she can suck it up and find another person who is in a committed relationship to "be in love with." Never understood how someone can be in love with someone they have not been with, more like infatuation. Might be weird for a while, but I wouldn't worry too much about your sister, she just needs move on.

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:04

Sounds like she never got the nerve to tell him though.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

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Thursday 15 March 2018 15:36

Doing the math here, it looks like you stole her boyfriend!

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Thursday 15 March 2018 15:41

not if she never told her she was in love with him. doesn't seem like they were a couple before.

RichardPencil 30

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Thursday 15 March 2018 19:38

That’s what the OP would have you believe.

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:04

Sounds like she never got the nerve to tell him though.

Donut_Wizard 23

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:08

On the next episode of Generic Soap Opera...

almost_there44 26

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:09

Now she can suck it up and find another person who is in a committed relationship to "be in love with." Never understood how someone can be in love with someone they have not been with, more like infatuation. Might be weird for a while, but I wouldn't worry too much about your sister, she just needs move on.

ThoughtsofaDame 12

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Monday 9 April 2018 6:44

I mean thats not fair. If they were good friends and had know each other for five years its reasonable to be in love with someone. I've fallen in love with friends before spending time together and being emotional intimate but not being romantic or sexual can still develop into love. \ The issue is the guy was in a serious relationship with her sister which is uncool to her sister.

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

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Thursday 15 March 2018 16:55

I don't think this is a FML. I mean, your boyfriend loves you and you love him. Who cares if your sister "loves" him. He isn't cheating ( I hope) so it is all good. your sister just has to accept the fact that she can't ever be with him.

ARISKomuniszt 24

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Thursday 15 March 2018 17:57

It's not true love unless it's mutual.

DJRy 13

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Thursday 15 March 2018 18:11

Not true at all.

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Thursday 15 March 2018 20:21

Unrequited love is still love

RinoaHeartilly 36

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Saturday 17 March 2018 3:59

No, it's more like obsession and refusal to move on and respect the other person's feelings.

Ciela 22

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Thursday 15 March 2018 18:20

damn, sorry about that....help her move on

Meghan Pappas 7

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Thursday 15 March 2018 23:03

you know what though I feel bad for her, however you guys need to be happy and go on with your guyses life! As long as he doesn't feel the same, you guys do you boo boo! Congratulations

SwordSlashBlade 13

Friday 16 March 2018 22:09

On the next episode of Jerry Springer ... “woman falls in love with sister’s husband and obsesses over him for five years hoping for a breakup only to be devastated when they get engaged.” Yeah, no, I wouldn’t watch it anyway.

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Friday 16 March 2018 23:40

Did either of you call dibs on him?