It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 835
You deserved it 198
Intimacy Kids Pregnancy
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Top comments

RichardPencil 30
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It was most likely immaculate conception and you could be the step-dad of The Messiah. Stick around -- there are probably nice perks for hanging out with the Lord.

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weeping_willow 25
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Actually, even if you’re unable to impregnate or be impregnated you should still wear protection to prevent STD and STI’s. Juuust to be safe.

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Comments

jbuckets_404 38
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Good luck finding a woman truly of worth and with more than just a modicum [Pun not intended - at first - lol.] of intelligence, OP! :-)

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RichardPencil 30
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It was most likely immaculate conception and you could be the step-dad of The Messiah. Stick around -- there are probably nice perks for hanging out with the Lord.

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Wadlaen 21
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He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

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EmDizzle2007 28
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I knew what this was gonna say before I even opened the notification. I've heard this song before.

4 1
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Wadlaen 21
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Sorry both by losing your testicles and now your girl!😕

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julfunky 29
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Why is this downvoted?

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sxdryv 14
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umm so do you still cum bro?

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Sarah Kryski-Kenny 3
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Yes. It’s the prostate gland that produces semen. It wouldn’t contain any swimmers. He’s shooting blanks.

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kittykitty2802 11
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Why did you not check for stuff. Idiot

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maiyapapaiya13 9
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Tell her you want to do a DNA test to see if it’s really yours or you’re leaving her. She knows it’s not yours so she’ll freak and admit it.

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