It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks 5 063
You deserved it 210

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It was most likely immaculate conception and you could be the step-dad of The Messiah. Stick around -- there are probably nice perks for hanging out with the Lord.

Actually, even if you’re unable to impregnate or be impregnated you should still wear protection to prevent STD and STI’s. Juuust to be safe.

Comments

Good luck finding a woman truly of worth and with more than just a modicum [Pun not intended - at first - lol.] of intelligence, OP! :-)

It was most likely immaculate conception and you could be the step-dad of The Messiah. Stick around -- there are probably nice perks for hanging out with the Lord.

Wadlaen 23

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

EmDizzle2007 28

I knew what this was gonna say before I even opened the notification. I've heard this song before.

Wadlaen 23

Sorry both by losing your testicles and now your girl!😕

julfunky 29

Yes. It’s the prostate gland that produces semen. It wouldn’t contain any swimmers. He’s shooting blanks.

Tell her you want to do a DNA test to see if it’s really yours or you’re leaving her. She knows it’s not yours so she’ll freak and admit it.