Today, my toddler threw a screaming, rampaging fit, because I ate the last chocolate mousse from the fridge. Did I forget to mention said toddler is actually my 52 year old dad? FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML
Today, I threw a tantrum because my younger sister ate my chocolate. I'm almost 18. FML
Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Today, I told my five year-old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
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Top comments
Morfindeth 11
My dad can be like that sometimes. I swear there's evidence left and right of "male menopause" as they call it. Hormones out of whack, and you get surly, cranky old men.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Funny I get the same way when someone eats the last taco.
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Comments (21)
Morfindeth 11
My dad can be like that sometimes. I swear there's evidence left and right of "male menopause" as they call it. Hormones out of whack, and you get surly, cranky old men.
mekiswrite 21
Andropause all the way!
GhostFox 34
Actually, male menopause is an actual medical condition, but since it doesn't have a visible indication- like no longer menstruating- doctor's just call it other things like androgen deficiency or low testosterone (low-T.) It's marked by mood swings, fatigue, development of breasts, infertility, and sexual dysfunction. So you know all those products for treating lowered sex drive and erectile dysfunction because of low hormones? They're really so men don't have to go through menopause and deal with the issues it causes.
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Funny I get the same way when someone eats the last taco.
Nina 34
Can't decide whether to resist or reward the pandering...
CrazyTrainWreck 19
Reward and I'll be your slave... as long as you feed me tacos.
Lennellie Sml 12
Am sharing this because I've gained so much good advice on FML. Some people are more possessive than acquisitive. Some people are more acquisitive than possessive. Some people can be only more concerned about the last piece. Or they can be just non-neurotypical like I am. Do observe your dad carefully after researching ASD! 60% of us have normal to above IQs.
RichardPencil 32
I never experienced that. At an early age, we were indoctrinated that eating the last of anything chocolate would result in swift, gruesome death. I think this tantrum is your fault and you should be glad you're still here.
liisiuu 23
Sounds like Benjamin Button.
PeterB444 17
Didn't know we were siblings
LEbleuDESreves 10
next time eat half and cover the remaining ... nobody taught you how to
Glowworm56 27
I think it's time to change dad's diaper and put him down for a nap. Hey, if he's going to act like a toddler, you might as well treat him as one.
Regulate 21
Must be a northern thing? Having your own 52 year old father also being your child? Or anyone throwing a tantrum over a mousse. Us Southerners get called soft...crikey.
MrCT 22
Did he buy it?