Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 5 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (8847)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (4044)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43492) - you deserved it (6933) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (4611)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43159) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML


I agree, your life sucks (43145) - you deserved it (5215)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42930) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42083) - you deserved it (4281)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41476) - you deserved it (5002)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: