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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41334) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40873) - you deserved it (3200)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40706) - you deserved it (4341)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (11929)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (3102)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39530) - you deserved it (3251)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (4086)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML

#20932303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (5878)

On 10/24/2013 at 11:52am - work - by s13495 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38746) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to the doctor to see why my walking pneumonia wasn't getting any better. It had. I've just somehow managed to also contract mono... while sitting home, alone. FML

#20935493
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38686) - you deserved it (2516)

On 10/27/2013 at 10:30am - health - by BadLuck (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38531) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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