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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML

#20634407
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52362) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52005) - you deserved it (8940)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51953) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51882) - you deserved it (4299)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51585) - you deserved it (4957)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51507) - you deserved it (19629)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (18287)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51409) - you deserved it (3849)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51384) - you deserved it (4907)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51368) - you deserved it (3283)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51243) - you deserved it (4441)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51166) - you deserved it (4342)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51100) - you deserved it (4040)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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