Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML
Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, some woman, sick with god knows what, didn’t vomit into the bin next to my car, or even just onto the floor, she lurched over to my car and vomited through my open window onto my shirt and legs, and down into the footwell. I can still smell it. FML
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Top comments
Arthurie 30
I hope for your sake that you aren't a sympathy-spewer, OP.
mintyowlgirl 20
Sounds like a 'sickening' night. I should never make jokes.
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Comments (57)
Brendan10 6
Arthurie 30
I hope for your sake that you aren't a sympathy-spewer, OP.
jake_braves 25
Amen on that one. Gross!
lexiieeex3 32
OP should have just moved away from the window...
mintyowlgirl 20
Sounds like a 'sickening' night. I should never make jokes.
Jared900DUmpling 30
You're right, you should never make jokes. You are absolutely correct right there.
mintyowlgirl 20
Thanks, Sherlock
iOceanus 18
Don't come around here spewing your bad puns at us... No? Okay.
False_Stupidity 42
Is that some kind of sick joke?
aimzskee 30
Haha I love a good pun.
AssassinD3 19
You ruined it
DArthurVaderian 18
You make me sick #27
jazzy_123 20
aw man. I know what that's like. I once woke up to the sound of someone puking for like a week straight. I'm now traumatized lol I can't even hear someone gag because my stomach gets upset :/
ronberg 15
Oh god I feel sorry for you :(
doodlecloud 27
Genuinely having the same problem right now. Someone nearby hacks and coughs like they're going to throw up but it's been going on for a year or so now! Drives me mad. It's way too hot to have the window closed as well. Part of me thinks maybe the guy is dying or something...but still, can't you just go inside to the bathroom?!
DArthurVaderian 18
'STOP DYING AND GO IN THE BATHROOM, YOU ATTENTION SEEKER!'
happylappy 21
They could have been dying!
SmoothPancakes 10
Then get your ass out there and check on them.
JesusOfNazareth 16
That must have sucked.
cakefete2 31
Actually, it blew.
rioc0719 12
I believe there's a button to express that.
ronberg 15
Aw that must have been horrible. FYL
Kamon97 23
Just stop commenting
91hayek 31
They were spewing for over an hour? And all you can think about is how your window was stuck? That person sounds like they were in serious trouble, even if it wasn't continuous spewing.
doodlecloud 27
Have you never had a diarrhoea and sickness bug? You do tend to throw up a lot. It's just a common bug though...only real danger is dehydration.
Flared 9
duct tape fixes everything ^_^
foxwasalamb 24
oh thats horrible. Im a sympathy puker so I'll throw up because others are
meli1195 31
Talk about unwanted info
foxwasalamb 24
im not forcing you to read my comment
cakefete2 31
The newest innovation from FML Labs, the "preview a comment feature".