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Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40378) - you deserved it (7647)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44005) - you deserved it (4622)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41945) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (20583)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36408) - you deserved it (2833)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44125) - you deserved it (4950)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

#21016256
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45874) - you deserved it (3953)

On 01/04/2014 at 2:21am - animals - by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - United States

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55490) - you deserved it (4943)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

#21015718
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (3482)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm - misc - by estranger (woman) - United States

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

#21016807
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45389) - you deserved it (4366)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44579) - you deserved it (5202)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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