Bunged up

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 664
You deserved it 5 770

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Pwn17 25

Who gives a shit about what she thinks?

Well that was rather unprofessional of him. What kind of doctor talks rudely to his patients like that? *whistles innocently*

Comments

Pwn17 25

Who gives a shit about what she thinks?

OP can't give a shit... It's like you didn't even read the FML!!

[Insert poorly written, overly-defensive statement personally attacking #9 based off of profile picture.]

[insert witty comment about not staying on topic]

Sorry OP but your diet is pretty unhealthy if you aren't getting the proper amount of fibre.

#12 You have a problem with elephants, man?

Chibitalia180 6

34, it's possible to get heavily constipated even with the proper amount of fiber.

if that doesn't work, have them check in the hospital if your intestins tied a knot in themselves; can be dangerous.

Wait, what? How the fuck do intestines tie themselves in a knot? I must have missed that day of medical school.

But they can get bottled up I think.

hooligyn123 18

Doc, the only possible thing I can think #2 meant was intussusception... Or maybe there is just magical malicious bowel tying faeries....

wlddog 14

Hold the phone... Are you telling me I have intestines that CANT tie themselves up like a bondage fetish fan? I want a refund.

graceinsheepwear 33

No, 20, you're thinking of that they can get a bottle up IN them, as Doc's lovely xray shows.

They can't actually tie themselves in a knot, but there is something called 'twisted bowel syndrome' where your intestines get wrapped around each other and it causes blockage. My neighbors dog died from it.

My advise to you is to NOT tell your mom that she is full of shit. That's way too easy of a setup for her.

I'm sorry op, nobody likes to have stomach cramps.

Yep. But us women get them monthly. :(

Quit complaining 8! Everyone knows that women get monthly cramps! I'm just thinking how they haven't realised they've not been regular for the past few months? Surely that wouldn't go a miss???

graceinsheepwear 33

8, you might want to get your uterus moved out of your stomach before trying to conceive if you are having monthly stomach cramps.

k_lylepad 19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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MilkyFilmz 26

Where the hell did you hear that?

it's a play on "an apple a day" - not exactly side-splittingly (/bowel-twistingly?) funny but surely an 'A' for effort

Really mean of your mother to laugh at you though. Having suffered many different issues with my digestive system I sympathise as they are all fucking painful.

I agree. OP's mom is being a bitch

should watch what ur ingesting from now on could have something to do with it my bf had the same issue but cause of the food he ate gave him a gas bubble in his intestines

graceinsheepwear 33

Isn't that called a fart?

MilkyFilmz 26

Oh,and please acknowledge the use of a period.

Please acknowledge a space.

Well that was rather unprofessional of him. What kind of doctor talks rudely to his patients like that? *whistles innocently*

Wizardo 33

Now you have me curious to how you actually do speak with your patients, I bet they get dehydrated from all the tears they shed and you charge extra for the saline drip they need to hydrate again... evil yet genius.

In my head I picture Doc like House.

I prefer to think of myself more like Perry Cox from Scrubs... without the wild, crazy hair.

The wild hair is part of the charm. :P

At least you're not full of shit. Oh, wait...

DaLiquer 20

So you didn't realize that you haven't taken a crap in a while?

well, constipation isn't the easiest thing to notice I guess.

KiddoKS 19

Product idea... Crap calendars. They will come with several brownish colored pencils so you can draw a pic to track color and consistency also. No really, I'm gonna be a millionaire!

graceinsheepwear 33

18, It becomes much easier to notice once you start having months of cramps and start asking to go to the doctor.