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Tuesday 20 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came into the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My mother was milling the meat around the skillet with the cat's poop scooper as a spatula. FML

#20856980
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40624) - you deserved it (2538)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55601) - you deserved it (7218)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (7792)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (15173)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (19191)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42057) - you deserved it (11733)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45629) - you deserved it (4530)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53333) - you deserved it (3320)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46159) - you deserved it (14949)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56222) - you deserved it (16527)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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