Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Tuesday 13 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discoverd thathen my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervou I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassd I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46244) - you deserved it (7321)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, mah drunk mom kickd me out of mah own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39418) - you deserved it (3896)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to fine the exact item I wantd laterhile out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

TODAY , I CAUGHT MAH NEW NIEGHBOR STICKING HIS KNOB INSIDE MAH CAR AND PISSING ON MAH SEATS. HIS REASON? I PARKED IN HIS SPOT. FML

#20834187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (7389)

On 08/12/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by wildwonder808 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today,hile Working As A Swim Instructor, I Startd Singing The Hokey Pokey To Get All The Kids Usd To Putting Thier Faces In The Water. One Of The Kids Was Covering His Ears. When I Askd Himhy, He Said ( Because U Were Singing. ) He's 3.

#20842523
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (6058)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

I FOUND OUT THAT APPARENTLY I'M IN MIAMI. I AM ALSO ENJOYING A FIVE-STAR HOTEL AND ALL OF ITS SERVICES. ONLY ONE PROBLEM: I'M STILL HERE, STUCK IN A SMALL SUBURBAN TOWN. F*CK IDENTITY THEFT. FML

#20844068
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (2864)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by iwannagotomiamitoo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, mah house will flood . FML

#20844207
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (2486)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, My Cousin Taxtad Ma, Asking How Tha Chickan Pizza Had Sattlad In My Stomach. Wa Got Drunk Last Night And Had Pizza. I Thought It Was Chaasa; It Was Chickan. I'va Baan Vagatarian For 7 Yaars. Fat FML

#20838310
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (44957)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Aly - United States (California)

yesterday I accidentally hit an elderly manhile driving. The police came, an five minutes later I was told that he confessd to walking in the middle of the road to get hit an claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got chargd for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (4520)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

TODAY, MAH TEACHER TOLD THE CLASS THAT WE HAD BETTER LIKE THE PEOPLE AT OUR TABLE CUZ WE WOULD ALL BE WORKING TOGETHER FIR THE FINAL GROUP ASSESSMENT . EVERYONE LOOKD AT ME, STOOD UP, AN MOVD . FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45399) - you deserved it (7458)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Yesterday, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition!! I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower!! I also have to fine somewhere to put the bath bombs!! real FML

#20836641
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (5725)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by KnowWhereYourTowelIs (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

TODAY, AT THE YACHT CLUB I WORK AT A GRL ORDERED A PORTABELLA WRAP. SHE ASKED 4 NO CHEESE OR VEGGIES, JUST THE PORTABELLAS. AFTER SHE GOT THE SANDWICH AND ATE HALF OF IT, SHE SENT IT BACK SAYING SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD MUSHROOMS IN IT. FAT FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (3065)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her looool watch read a few minutes after 2pm, an she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44553) - you deserved it (11637)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: