The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Frustrated

By Anonymous - 13/05/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, after 10-plus years of marriage, my husband still gets off after 5 minutes. I find myself just wanting to just go down on him, instead of being unsatisfied right when I start to get into it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 367

By f.m. - 23/07/2018 16:00

Today, I took my driving test. I was nervous, but I thought I followed the rules of the road pretty well. My tester ended up failing me for "backing out too slowly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 309

By unifail - 22/01/2009 10:48 - Canada

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 755

You deserved it 4 835

Stay safe, despite capitalism

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 19:59

Today, despite both of us being vaccinated, my wife recently tested positive for Covid and now I'm showing symptoms. Neither my state or job offers any kind of financial support for Covid leave, so my options are infecting others or starving under a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 244

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 02:04

Today, I had to sit through the film The 40 Year Old Virgin with my friends, who thought it was hilarious. I'm well over 40 and also a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 465

Meet the parents

By Scared - 28/08/2020 05:03

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Remember the show Honey Boo Boo? They seem sophisticated compared to the family of weirdoes I got to meet. It's almost got me reconsidering my planned proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 247

By just socially awkward - 16/11/2018 12:00

Today, despite the carriage being entirely empty, a large man chose to sit right beside me on the train. After making me uncomfortable with personal questions, he asked if we could be friends and hang out, both of which I shyly declined. He then accused me of being a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 103

You deserved it 210

Carless whisper

By Anonymous - 05/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got into a car accident and totaled my car. Also today, someone bought themselves $600 worth of office furniture online with my bank info. My bank doesn’t believe me so they won’t help me get the money back. I'm broke and carless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 290

You deserved it 238

Forever alone

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Finland

Today, my sad ass got walked in on by a relative while I was having an imaginary conversation, with an imaginary friend, and I was talking out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 613

You deserved it 2 580

By razordot - 28/02/2019 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 2 100

Help!

By 2for1 - 28/03/2019 00:00 - Norway - Sandefjord

Today, after being constipated for four days post-surgery, I have gotten diarrhea. It doesn't actually help getting the hard plug out, but it has found slow passages around it, so I’m still left to my own devices. This is not the kind of gold I’d like to be digging for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 171

By Zanna - 23/03/2017 12:00

Today, a job candidate I was interviewing took a drink of water, and let it dribble down her chin and shirt while making fixed eye contact with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 436

You deserved it 288

By Elisa - 03/05/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Today, I was in a store and asked the sales clerk, “wow, how many months pregnant are you?” She replied, “my daughter is three years old…” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 619

You deserved it 7 297

Kinda is

By Anonymous - 17/07/2023 18:00

Today, my blind date got up and left the table before our food had even arrived, saying he wasn't going to bother with me. Apparently bringing my own bottle of ranch for dipping is "weird" now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 2 825

Having multiple jobs may have its benefits

By Scoudrel - 26/02/2021 17:01

Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 6 415

Judgmental people are the worst

By samantha - 09/03/2021 16:59

Today, I was called a horrible excuse for a mother just for buying formula for my baby. I just don’t produce any milk of my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 142

By Lunar-Spice - 23/07/2019 04:05

Today, I asked one of the girls at work out on a date. She responded by filing a harassment complaint. Now, I can't speak to her at all without being written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 1 002

Such a healthy environment

By Predator - 21/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, on my first full day on Marine Corps boot camp, my drill instructor pulled me and another kid in front of 200 other recruits to vote on who was uglier between the two of us. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 216

By Benchlover - 10/10/2016 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized two things: how much time I've spent waiting between lectures, and just how bad my love life is. I found out that I get incredibly jealous when somebody sits on my favourite bench in the centre of the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 238

You deserved it 1 150

By Anonymous - 17/09/2017 04:30

Today, after storing it for a year, driving it 750 miles to a new home, and waiting a week for a wall mount to come in, I was ready to hang the hand-painted, decorative window my brother gave me. The chain snapped as I picked it up and it shattered when it hit the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 275

You deserved it 403

Great support, mom

By Red curtains - 03/05/2021 11:01

Today, my mother is still insisting it must have been my fault that my husband beat me into a coma for 5 weeks, because he’s such a "nice boy from a good family" with a really successful career, so it must have been me who provoked him into it. She keeps trying to get us back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 240

You deserved it 121

Entitled

By CP slave - 11/09/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, a man yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity when I told him his child wasn't tall enough to ride a roller-coaster. His daughter was about 3 years-old. The coaster is the second tallest in the world. I deal with morons like this every day, at minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 124

Hello?

By NoHappyEndings - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Dundalk

Today, it's been four weeks since I got a job offer after months of grueling interviews. I turned down other offers to accept the job, but I'm still unemployed because no one at the company will take my calls about my official start date. I've been ghosted by a corporate office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 429

By piliseep - 03/10/2017 04:30

Spicy

Today, I had to sit outside with nothing but a large bottle of wine to keep me company and no way to block out the sounds of my cousins loudly having sex with my two roommates upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 142

You deserved it 385

By sw2f2fchik612 - 04/08/2016 02:01 - United States - Snellville

Today, I was sitting on the floor petting my cat. Something that felt like a rock was jabbing into my leg so I reached down to remove it. It was an ancient, rock-hard piece of dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 1 747

sw2f2fchik612 tells us more.

sw2f2fchik612 12

Thursday 4 August 2016 23:11

This is my FML. And yay, I finally got one published! Anyway, yes it was inside on the floor and yes, it was freakin' gross haha. I had just come home after being away for several weeks for those saying I haven't been cleaning lol. I didn't see it because it blended in with the color of the rug. It actually hurt when I sat down on it. I can only assume one of the dogs snuck it from the litter box as they tend to do.

By RobotUnicorn1209 - 21/11/2017 19:30 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I finally found out why the water in my bottle had been tasting strangely minty for the past few weeks when I saw a piece of gum sitting at the bottom of it. I don't chew gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 523

You deserved it 1 131

By Brenda Trejo - 17/01/2018 01:30

Today, my fiancé asked his 13-year-old sister what role she wanted in our upcoming wedding. Her response was "Saying I object!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 446

By mybackhurts - 04/02/2018 15:00

Today, my doctor ordered me an EKG to help my health anxiety. I have panic attacks and feel like my heart is out of rhythm, but my doctors have all told me it’s just in my head. I got the test results. I meet with the cardiologist next week to discuss surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 949

You deserved it 298

By seriously - 24/05/2018 02:30 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my dad told me that he, my stepmother, my siblings, and my grandmother are going to Egypt for a week. A week ago, he told me they didn't have the time or money to visit me in Romania where I'm an exchange student. I've been here almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 096

You deserved it 289

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 187

You deserved it 1 066

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 3 477

Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 362

You deserved it 4 079

Today, my mom found out that I’ve been faking my exam grades, turning my 30s to 80s and 40s to 90s on the paper exams. She got access to my online student portal and saw my real grades. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 666

Today, at a bar, I bumped into the hot blonde teacher I had the hots for all through high school, and she actually tried to seduce me. I was only in the bar drowning my sorrows because I recently had my cancerous prostate removed and I can’t get erections any more. Life isn’t fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 360

You deserved it 147

Today, it's the fourth day since my partner and I opened our store. Opening day was great, but since then we have had a grand total of two customers. We spent our entire life savings on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 236

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing, "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 929

You deserved it 3 998