Today, I really want to punch whoever says women have no problem getting laid. It’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another human, I actually considered hiring a male prostitute just so I can be in a man’s arms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML
Today, I'm considering working as an escort again, to get some human closeness, have interesting conversations and feel wanted and appreciated. I'm actually in a steady relationship; I guess it’s not a very good one. FML
Today, I paid a hooker for a handjob, not because I was horny but because I’m single with no friends or relatives, and still working from home. It’s been so long since I’ve had human contact outside of work emails, it was nice to be able to talk to a human being for a few minutes in person. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’m seriously considering hiring a professional if you catch my drift. I try to put myself out there but I’m so self-conscious about my mastectomy scars that the thought of anyone seeing me naked sends me into a heaving sobbing anxiety attack. FML
Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML
Today, I went to a chiropractor and got a membership just because I was desperate to be touched by a man after being single for 3 years. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she’s been wanting to have sex lately. We haven’t done it in so long, I've lost track. We still haven’t done it. Part of me wants to fuck someone else. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML
Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML
Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I'm such a strong feminist that I'm willing to say that some women are unfuckable.
xxWTFxx1981 23
Yeah I know a few women who can't get laid. most the time though their standards are too high they are like a 3 out of 10 and want a guy out of their league. Also, if your not willing to get on a hookup website and say you are looking for no commitment sex you haven't pursued all avenues lol.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (11)
RichardPencil 32
I'm such a strong feminist that I'm willing to say that some women are unfuckable.
randybryant799 21
Who exactly says that?
xxWTFxx1981 23
Yeah I know a few women who can't get laid. most the time though their standards are too high they are like a 3 out of 10 and want a guy out of their league. Also, if your not willing to get on a hookup website and say you are looking for no commitment sex you haven't pursued all avenues lol.
kickass5946 1
challenge accepted
Grizz8831 14
tinder, POF, fetlife etc. are all good ways to find someone to bang. just be clear about what you want. also If sex is the current issue don't try to hard to tie it to a LTR right this minute. look for a LTR with post nut clarity.
bobsanction 18
Lower your standards. The only reason a woman can't get laid is her standards are too high.
Will Lawrence 3
incorrect.. the power that a woman has is that they control all aspects of sex.. you can't get whom you want nit the aspect of sex understand your argument and you will understandyour position.