Love: Her revenge - FML

Her revenge

By Anonymous - 25/02/2020 22:00

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 734

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

You tried

Risky business

Well deserved break

By KarmaComeBack - 18/05/2021 17:01

Today, my brother told me that wanting a break by having one evening away from my son makes me look like a really bad mother. My son is three and hasn't been babysat since he was an infant, and I've been a single mum for the last 8 months. I just wanted some time to recharge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 101

By helpme - 25/09/2015 13:46 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 289

You deserved it 7 727

By Rizzle - 04/10/2009 07:50 - New Zealand

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 697

You deserved it 45 046

By na - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 840

You deserved it 7 525

Really!

By fml - 13/01/2020 07:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, after receiving our marriage certificate, I told my wife about it. She responded with "fml". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 227

By blahblah1993 - 20/02/2015 17:56 - United States - Katy

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant and still waitressing at a local restaurant. There were only 3 of us serving today and things were hectic. One guy bitched me out, saying "Maybe if you lost some weight you'd walk a little faster!" because I wasn't fast enough with his soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 063

You deserved it 2 810

Lockdown fashion

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 18:01 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my partner got a lockdown haircut. He now has a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 179

By tvaladie - 17/04/2009 00:19 - United States

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 079

You deserved it 349 668

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, while arguing with my boyfriend about how I wasn't a bad driver and could parallel park, I decided it was easier to just let him do it. Unfortunately, while getting out of the car to switch seats, I forgot to take the car out of drive and it ran into the car in front of us. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 295

You deserved it 31 786

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 250

You deserved it 5 713

By rert - 16/07/2019 06:00

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 117

Creeper

By Anonymous - 21/04/2013 23:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 4 171

By jll14 - 31/03/2013 22:27 - Malaysia - Kota Kinabalu

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 550

You deserved it 2 830

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 541

You deserved it 2 980

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, my wife stopped halfway through a blowjob to check a notification on her phone for a game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 355

By Jer - 11/10/2009 00:30 - United States

Today, my oldest son answered my phone call much to my surprise as we haven't spoken in a year. The first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't mean to pick up the phone." He then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 352

You deserved it 8 918

By wasntworththedrive - 20/01/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 430

You deserved it 4 835

By negin - 22/03/2011 07:23

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 090

You deserved it 6 736

By smidgit - 19/05/2016 17:32

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelt the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 869

You deserved it 9 762

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 6 386

By Chaosfigure - 03/09/2017 13:00

Today, after my driving instructor told me I should pass without any worries at all, I completely failed. I was hit by another car. While parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 870

You deserved it 226

Snitches get stitches

By bad sis sad sis - 24/09/2020 02:01

Spicy

Today, I told my mom that I walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex. My mom flew into a rage and slapped me several times, calling me a liar and made me apologize to my sister for saying something “so disgusting” about her. I wasn’t lying and she just smirked the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 724

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 02:06 - United States - Deatsville

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 5 179

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 595

You deserved it 7 575

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 189

You deserved it 2 971

Stop siding with Karens!

By jobless - 02/07/2021 11:00

Today, I'm a massage therapist, and a woman got on my table with a rash. When I informed her that I couldn't work on her because of the rash, and that it's illegal, she got mad, and started yelling at me. My boss came to find out what happened, took her side, and fired me. For following the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 55

By alex - 16/02/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 094

You deserved it 32 805

By TimeForAHairCut - 08/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 915

You deserved it 2 101

By CollegeKid - 22/01/2017 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was in the hospital for 12 hours with unbearable stomach pain. Apparently I have a horrible infection in my intestines and colon. My mom is now accusing me of having anal sex and allowing a man to ejaculate into my bum. My great-grandma believes her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 388

You deserved it 716

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 624

You deserved it 17 217

By Third trimester - 26/05/2017 17:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 616

You deserved it 392

You gotta be kidding me

By KnowledgableEx - 10/11/2016 12:42 - United States - Baltimore

Spicy

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 470

You deserved it 1 152

What's next?

By My Body Hates me - 30/07/2020 05:01

Today, I was diagnosed with a severe bladder infection that has left me in excruciating pain. A month ago, I had an ovarian cyst rupture. A few weeks before that, I badly sprained my elbow. Before that, I had the flu. I think my body is mutinying one organ system at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 118

Unsanitary

By Anonymous - 01/06/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 288

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 543

You deserved it 2 578

Don't hate the playa…

By Dannikins - 05/11/2020 01:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 82

April Fool

By larry_richard - 04/04/2018 18:00 - United States

Today, I was told an assignment that was supposed to be due in a week and a half is due today. I crammed all night and ended up getting 3 hours of sleep. Turns out it was an April Fool's prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 224

You deserved it 713

By bdaygirl - 03/12/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 860

You deserved it 4 701

By manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 487

You deserved it 78 420

By Anonymous - 06/04/2013 16:17 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 3 614

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Top comments

GamerChickxoxo 16

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Wednesday 26 February 2020 8:00

They were gifts, they are yours, you can say no and theres nothing she can do about it.Its just petty to ask for something back, she probably has a side guy in mind she wants to impress with them.

theangrybeaver 8

Send a private message

Wednesday 26 February 2020 6:35

Personally, I prefer to donate or throw away any gifts given to me by an ex. It helps me to move on. Give them back gladly and thank her for helping you to move forward.

Comments

theangrybeaver 8

Send a private message

Wednesday 26 February 2020 6:35

Personally, I prefer to donate or throw away any gifts given to me by an ex. It helps me to move on. Give them back gladly and thank her for helping you to move forward.

GamerChickxoxo 16

Send a private message

Wednesday 26 February 2020 8:00

They were gifts, they are yours, you can say no and theres nothing she can do about it.Its just petty to ask for something back, she probably has a side guy in mind she wants to impress with them.

EmDizzle2007 28

Send a private message

Wednesday 26 February 2020 22:37

would it really be worth the hassle??

Send a private message

Thursday 27 February 2020 2:50

If she gets them back, she scores a psychological victory. Don't give anything back, OP.

Send a private message

Wednesday 26 February 2020 9:13

You two seem young and immature

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Wednesday 26 February 2020 19:14

How soon after Christmas and how expensive the gifts? But also they are gifts your under no obligation to return them there yours now

J15237 25

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Wednesday 26 February 2020 21:06

Well why did you break up?

EmDizzle2007 28

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Wednesday 26 February 2020 22:36

there's info here we don't have.

Aaron O'Neill 5

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Wednesday 26 February 2020 23:46

I would have told her straight up to go fuck herself and probably would burn all the shit infront of her 😂

Send a private message

Tuesday 3 March 2020 16:17

I was thinking of doing that too my Ex-Gf but naw I decided too let her keep all the SHIT n HOPE she doesn't treat other people like shit next time.. 😑😑😑

Send a private message

Wednesday 4 March 2020 7:37

Only conditional gift in a relationship is a ring. Its legally yours

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 9

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 16

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 064

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 191