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By Anonymous - 23/03/2016 16:06 - United States - Bellevue

Today, an old guy with a cane got up in my face for "mocking" the way he walked. In retrospect, I guess it is pretty offensive for me to have had knee surgery and still be recovering from it. My apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 506

You deserved it 1 430

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 01:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 105

You deserved it 2 440

Unfazed and dazed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I found out that licking your very chapped lips while totally zoned out and looking in the general direction of a girl, will end up with you becoming the massive college creeper that everyone avoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 555

You deserved it 3 720

By captainwhiskers - 23/02/2016 12:48 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 6 055

captainwhiskers tells us more.

captainwhiskers 18

Tuesday 23 February 2016 19:59

Hey guys, OP here. Thank you so much for voting for this. So after my conductor pointed at me, I pointed to myself, and he nodded. Apparently the person behind me did the exact same thing. He was alright with it and looking back, it's actually pretty funny. Thanks

Let it go

By MrG - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 405

You deserved it 2 941

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 384

You deserved it 3 516

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 269

You deserved it 2 207

By mandy - 23/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 921

You deserved it 6 707

By WearingSomethingStringy - 10/04/2013 00:02 - United States - Cranston

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 197

You deserved it 12 108

Drive-thru rage

By TheDrugsAreStrongWithThisOne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a customer wanted corporate's number because we aren't allowed to sell pies after midnight. After a drug-fuelled cuss-storm, she punched me in the face through the open window, then peeled out of drive-thru like a bat out of hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 288

You deserved it 2 018

By THATguy - 21/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 2 305

By Anonymous - 11/04/2018 06:00

Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 764

You deserved it 2 211

By Chumpee - 08/06/2016 17:17 - United States - Akron

Today, after years busting my hump for my father's business with the understanding of one day taking it over, he informed me that my nephew, who has never shown any interest in the company, is being brought in to take it over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 815

You deserved it 955

Powerful

By ouchmynose - 18/02/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 310

You deserved it 7 100

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 01:46 - United States - Blythe

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 390

You deserved it 2 664

Gross

By clips - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 258

You deserved it 2 636

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 689

You deserved it 2 781

By NextAmericanIdol? - 08/08/2013 04:09 - United States - Bowie

Today, I had to put my little sister to bed. Usually my mom sings her a lullaby before she puts her to sleep, so I did too. After I finished the song, my sister looked me dead in the eyes and said, "This is why I tell people we aren't related." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 780

You deserved it 5 619

Let it all out

By achoo-plop - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 191

You deserved it 2 117

By overlandparkmommie - 14/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon, I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 502

You deserved it 3 771

TFIF, huh?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 541

You deserved it 4 173

By He Hates Me... - 21/10/2015 00:15 - United States - Ogden

Today, I'm in my third week at a new job. Using an online service our company recommends, I accidentally downloaded a virus that is now working its way through our website, randomly sending our customers Viagra ads via our email. I personally had to tell the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 489

You deserved it 4 273

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 21:57 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 220

By talwin - 27/07/2011 04:05 - Reserved

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 264

You deserved it 3 284

By Anonymous - 30/06/2011 07:24 - Finland

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 223

You deserved it 5 248

By Torvaltz - 07/08/2016 08:31 - United States - Clinton

Today, during an important meeting, I forgot the name for West Virginia and described it as, "Virginia a bit to the left". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 642

You deserved it 3 294

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 215

You deserved it 4 181

By Jayanka - 03/05/2018 05:00

Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 188

You deserved it 609

By Embarrassed daughter.. - 01/02/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 6 993

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 541

You deserved it 3 424

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The Top

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 852

You deserved it 5 634

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend, who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 167

You deserved it 2 358

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 770

You deserved it 9 073

Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and then going to her place, not only did she not want sex, she also wanted me to leave and told me she never wanted to see me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 428

You deserved it 1 282

Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 2 087

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 286