By tornkhakis - United States - Bloomington Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 37103 You deserved it 4151 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whoababy55 - United States Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41335 You deserved it 2623 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hackmanjones - Canada Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 55301 You deserved it 4798 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 1068 You deserved it 910 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/1/2021 23:01 Unloveable Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML I agree, your life sucks 850 You deserved it 73 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By swim5 - United States - Tempe Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML I agree, your life sucks 31412 You deserved it 3479 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nosleep Today, like every other day since I moved into this apartment a year ago, the construction crew started their noisy work at 5:30 in the morning. When I moved in I was promised it was a quiet neighborhood; only offices. What have they been building in the meantime? Three nightclubs. FML I agree, your life sucks 3484 You deserved it 255 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser - United States Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML I agree, your life sucks 45608 You deserved it 13024 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany - Titisee-neustadt Today, I'm the only grandchild who regularly visits, calls and runs errands for my grandparents, even though I live two hours away. I'm also their biggest disappointment because I'm not married. FML I agree, your life sucks 22849 You deserved it 1605 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 30025 You deserved it 4143 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous1 - United States Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML I agree, your life sucks 49557 You deserved it 10936 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notawizard - Spain Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 33254 You deserved it 94907 608 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2020 05:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon Can you hear me, Dave? Today, my dad started Skype-ing with his long-distance friend. They’re both almost 90, barely have their hearing, and can't stop shouting. FML I agree, your life sucks 1018 You deserved it 170 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LaurenLehmmman - United States Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 7262 You deserved it 52067 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tryingnottocare - United Kingdom Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML I agree, your life sucks 55282 You deserved it 4572 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rani - Norway - Oslo Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML I agree, your life sucks 44094 You deserved it 5532 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WorstLifeEver - United States Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 64699 You deserved it 13367 399 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML I agree, your life sucks 24074 You deserved it 4854 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By klifestyle2012 Classy. Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML I agree, your life sucks 5001 You deserved it 312 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Sneaky Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML I agree, your life sucks 1801 You deserved it 183 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Hinesville Unconditional support Today, my girlfriend told me she'd support my decision to stay in, or get out of the military, so I renewed my contract...... She broke up with me for it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2125 You deserved it 281 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Netherlands Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29562 You deserved it 5766 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ken - Canada Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML I agree, your life sucks 46123 You deserved it 3582 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Peter C. - United States Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML I agree, your life sucks 33151 You deserved it 10382 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pledonasm - India - Thane Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML I agree, your life sucks 42494 You deserved it 2246 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tnh - United States Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML I agree, your life sucks 28625 You deserved it 2305 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML I agree, your life sucks 2234 You deserved it 244 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By egged - Singapore - Singapore Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML I agree, your life sucks 41206 You deserved it 3626 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MWT77 - United States - Chicago Today, I came home from my aunt's funeral to find my basement flooded due to a sewer backup. FML I agree, your life sucks 1782 You deserved it 80 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By royalscenery - Canada Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML I agree, your life sucks 26151 You deserved it 2817 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sal - 27/9/2020 05:02 - Canada Unloveable Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML I agree, your life sucks 992 You deserved it 253 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RandomTurtle109 - United States - White River Junction Today, I woke up late, got ready within 10 minutes and drove to work. I walked in and apologized to my boss. He said, "Go Home, it's your day off..." Walk of Shame. FML I agree, your life sucks 18896 You deserved it 3589 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML I agree, your life sucks 37557 You deserved it 3326 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML I agree, your life sucks 17108 You deserved it 3285 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CalebNotShomo - United States - Houston Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML I agree, your life sucks 35267 You deserved it 2811 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By busted - United Kingdom Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 25348 You deserved it 3247 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rjlup - United States - Denver Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 48543 You deserved it 7150 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xenutja - 29/1/2021 13:02 - United States - Amery Hate sex Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML I agree, your life sucks 843 You deserved it 115 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sore - France Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 24600 You deserved it 3846 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lockout - Germany - Kiel Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML I agree, your life sucks 11454 You deserved it 21215 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Selfish Whiner - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 48914 You deserved it 5666 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pleonasm | 34 #5867521 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:41 Buy your cat a mannequin wearing some pants to use instead? Actually; Scratch that. It would only end in tears. Send a private message 35 2 Reply
By Rainhawk94 | 27 #5867522 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:41 Today the pant leg, tomorrow, the world Send a private message 18 0 Reply
By Robtranis | 11 #5867517 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:37 Maybe it's time to shave :D... Or wax. Send a private message 3 31 Reply
Reply CommunistBanana | 8 #5867523 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:42 It was OP's "pant" leg. Send a private message 17 0 Reply
Reply ninjuh_wingman | 29 #5867550 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:58 8-Is there a reason you just decided to put the word pant in quotation marks? Send a private message 3 24 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #5868775 - Tuesday 25 February 2014 21:36 #8 did that to emphasize the word pant, since #1 clearly missed it. Send a private message 5 1 Reply
Reply Mauskau | 35 #5867616 - Monday 24 February 2014 18:42 Thank you for a very insightful comment. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Reply Wizardo | 33 #5867623 - Monday 24 February 2014 18:48 The comment is there, just like the writing you can't see, muggles. Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By Rizzen | 27 #5867519 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:39 ouch, hopefully the scratches werent too bad! Send a private message 4 4 Reply
By red225 | 14 #5867520 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:41 Should've known...cats are evil. Send a private message 9 6 Reply
By Pleonasm | 34 #5867521 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:41 Buy your cat a mannequin wearing some pants to use instead? Actually; Scratch that. It would only end in tears. Send a private message 35 2 Reply
By Rainhawk94 | 27 #5867522 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:41 Today the pant leg, tomorrow, the world Send a private message 18 0 Reply
By AshleaJstudent | 16 #5867524 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:43 Apparently he felt that your offering was not worthy. Send a private message 11 0 Reply
By worldclassrager | 39 #5867527 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:46 Well you have a new alarm clock... Send a private message 4 6 Reply
By olpally | 32 #5867547 - Monday 24 February 2014 17:56 Hope you didn't get clawed too badly op. Damn cats everywhere trolling us. Evil bastards. Send a private message 9 4 Reply
By chutney_02 | 22 #5867565 - Monday 24 February 2014 18:05 Wear dog patterned pyjamas, that'll scare it away! Send a private message 7 1 Reply
Reply DavidKnows | 11 #5868658 - Tuesday 25 February 2014 19:41 Cats aren't afraid of most dogs. They are excellent fighters! Dogs only have ONE weapon; cats have several. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after finding out that I opened an Onlyfans account. FML I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 1154 9 Comments
Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends,... I agree, your life sucks 709 You deserved it 96 6 Comments
Actually; Scratch that. It would only end in tears.