By Claire - 19/01/2013 13:51 - United States - Parkville
The Top
By ideserveit - 28/05/2016 22:10 - Finland
By Anonymous - 01/02/2015 10:21 - United States
How could you?
By Ellie - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mission
I NEED URGENT ASSISTANCE
By help me - 24/04/2016 08:00 - United States - San Francisco
By mistickfae - 29/10/2012 18:42 - United States
By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 01:43 - Canada - Moncton
By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 17:18 - United States
Fishing
By Veronica - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By sucker and suckatash/say don't spray - 17/07/2013 10:06 - United States - Pearl City
Stop crying your heart out
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States
By mybad - 11/09/2014 03:57 - United States
By Anonymous - 20/04/2009 01:40 - United States
Thanks, I hate it!
By gingerwhinger - 05/08/2015 23:24 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes
By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States
By anonymous - 06/02/2015 05:16 - Australia - Mitcham
By thatsucks - 28/02/2016 20:49 - United States - Seattle
By mn051299 - 10/02/2016 09:09 - Switzerland - Richterswil
By disgruntled - 09/12/2015 15:01
By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 19:38 - United States
The more you know
By facepalm - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States
Circular
By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 04:48 - United States
Safe as houses
By chucklesman96 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Westerose
By bish_wut - 10/09/2016 20:15 - United States - Huntington Beach
bish_wut tells us more.
Fancy seeing you here
By Pikababy19 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Mount Vernon
Awkwaaaaaard
By Why - 02/04/2014 08:13 - Australia - Sydney
By nightfall8705 - 19/06/2015 18:26 - United States
nightfall8705 tells us more.
OP here! There is so much more to this story than I'm not going into, but the jist of it is this: I was to replace this chick who was supposed to be moving to Texas with her "church" and I was perfect to fill in her absence. The dumbledouche hiring manager told me several times I was hired and that the girl was moving and all that. Then the excuses start for why I couldn't take my test. First, the computer was down. Second, the manager said he was managing 3 stores at once because another manager had a "heart attack", and the third time was because he "had an emergency" situation last week, and told me to come in yesterday. After the test, he broke the news to me that his thundercunt (my words, not his) employee decided she wasn't going to move to Texas after all, because her baby daddy were here and she needed money from him and that she found out the welfare was better in SC than Texas. I probably won't even get paid for my time, but that's not even what I'm pissed about. Turns out that "emergency" the hiring manager had was a vacation in Hawaii. He must have forgotten the lie he told me, because those words came directly from his cum balloon mouth. I've got an interview for a job on Monday for an even better restaurant anyway, so screw em'.
By Anonymous - 11/05/2016 15:53 - United States - Franklin
By monochromatic - 20/02/2010 03:13 - United States
By IntrepidPig - 10/04/2016 04:32 - United States - Albany
IntrepidPig tells us more.
Hi guys. I have some explaining to do. First off, she thought she had taken my computer as well. She was looking for it when she got home, trying to remember where she put it. Now, when she got home, I decided to put my pajamas on. As I went in my clothes drawer, I wondered if I would hide it there, then I decided I would hide it behind my bookshelf instead. This triggered a memory of me deciding not to hide it behind my bookshelf because it would be too perfect, thus too obvious. I then remembered where I hid it, walked over with such a feeling of idiocy, and found it. I completely deserved this
Keywords
Hello, everyone! I'm the OP. I am so shocked/ excited this actually got posted! First off, thanks for all the kind comments, I smiled quite a few times haha. As for my friendless life, I am homeschooled due to many health problems I have, such as anxiety, so being home alone all day, it's quite hard to make friends. But I do realize I could do something about it instead of sitting here moaping. My birthday is in 2 days, so my sister is going to help me invite some neighbors and hopefully I can make some friends :) (#3 and #4, thanks friends :D) Thanks for the luck everyone, I think I'll definitely need it.