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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38521) - you deserved it (4858)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

#20843729
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44229) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm - misc - by Having a pretty sister sucks. - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (8340)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (3120)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (39826)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52291) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40800) - you deserved it (4520)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44548) - you deserved it (11637)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (42943)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48120) - you deserved it (3800) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51509) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (7458)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45362) - you deserved it (3047)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)



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