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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (4562)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48214) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42463) - you deserved it (7012)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (8900)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (40101)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46939) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (7163)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I submitted my big assignment to my teacher at 1:55pm. The deadline was 2pm. She rejected it, because her watch read a few minutes after 2pm, and she maintains that the time on her watch is the "real" time. FML

#20840255
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43043) - you deserved it (11150)

On 08/16/2013 at 12:04pm - misc - by WatchOut - Singapore

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42610) - you deserved it (2811)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit an elderly man while driving. The police came, and five minutes later I was told that he confessed to walking in the middle of the road to get hit and claim compensation. He was fine, but I still got charged for hitting a pedestrian. FML

#20843576
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (3834)

On 08/18/2013 at 7:23pm - misc - by FMLdude - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)



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