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Monday 1 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML

#20764588
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67315) - you deserved it (3944)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (51309)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53392) - you deserved it (4993)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (7616)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (12345)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63460) - you deserved it (11931)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57973) - you deserved it (6003)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48219) - you deserved it (6701)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57455) - you deserved it (6139)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

#20763424
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (4738)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55621) - you deserved it (4749)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

#20768180
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50071) - you deserved it (24405)

On 07/07/2013 at 2:35am - misc - by lostmystuff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Eventually, the guy subtly enquired about my political beliefs. He seemed pretty laid-back and cool, so I told him, at which point he just chuckled and told me to leave. When I threatened to report him, he just said, "Who're they gonna believe, you or me?" FML

#20769050
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44976) - you deserved it (7955)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by touche :/ (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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