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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus I realized I left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML

#6738092
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (2568)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by gabby (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

#6737603
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (2648)

On 12/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by justine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

#6735017
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30744) - you deserved it (2466)

On 12/13/2009 at 5:12am - health - by cagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

#6734413
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7177) - you deserved it (20850)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23674) - you deserved it (6114)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML

#6732796
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (21860)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:26am - health - by teeeessst (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

#6732591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31194) - you deserved it (5464)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by manutdlol - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

#6731924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6722) - you deserved it (48330)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by eggnoodles (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (5263)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (3349)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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