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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

#6582615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24629) - you deserved it (6561)

On 12/03/2009 at 11:08am - misc - by urinanalysis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (2478)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41393) - you deserved it (1992)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finished a 50 page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

#6580357
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29069) - you deserved it (36420)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08am - work - by WTFFAIL (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2240)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

#6580015
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (2812)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

#6579645
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (4064)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by bdaygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (74913)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

#6578691
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by friendless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (8487)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

#6574517
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (11109)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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