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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

#12677890
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/22/2010 at 3:24am - love - by lee (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46567) - you deserved it (13636)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

cartez2gs's comment : ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol

See all the comments →

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

#12677000
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41045) - you deserved it (6345)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:28am - work - by jemstuff (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

#12676840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (4964)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:17am - love - by arace15336 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37675) - you deserved it (13224)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33314) - you deserved it (5668)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

#12673402
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (6252)

On 08/21/2010 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by jessiegirl - United States (Illinois)

Today, my hours got cut because I couldn't make it into work when they called me in. Why couldn't I make it in? I was in an interview for a better job. I didn't get the job. FML

#12665553
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (17517)

On 08/21/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by thyella87 - United States (Texas)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45043) - you deserved it (3538)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50276) - you deserved it (15497)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (31861)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (3932)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (7406)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)



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