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Man or woman?

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

#12626936
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10905) - you deserved it (82335)

On 08/19/2010 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by captainocd - United States (Texas)

kbaker90's comment : Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*

See all the comments →

Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

#12625429
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41087) - you deserved it (3494)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

#12623865
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33201) - you deserved it (6689)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:28am - love - by yup okay (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

#12622132
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37381) - you deserved it (4711)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by ktin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

#12622107
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (34884)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

#12621906
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (27885)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:25am - misc - by FreeToFly3733 - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

#12621372
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61587) - you deserved it (4405)

On 08/19/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by divorced - United States (Tennessee)

 Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

#12620579
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8357) - you deserved it (37392)

On 08/19/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

#12619171
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (13239)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my husband put a parental block on the TV so I couldn't rent a movie. I'm 42. FML

#12618880
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (8231)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:15am - misc - by mylifeblows (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (6684)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, while casually sitting at a bar, a drunk biker with no teeth leaned over and tried to kiss me. I'm a sailor in the Navy, but I think I screamed like a little girl. FML

#12617808
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (5214)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by dentallycorrect - United States (Illinois)



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