ALL FML

Thanks guys

By daddy - 22/12/2008 05:43 - France

Today, someone stole both rear view mirrors from my scooter. And where were the police? They were 500 m down the road, waiting to stop me for not having any mirrors. FML

agreeclassic 32 626

vote type 1 2 262

By HeatoN - 22/12/2008 01:44 - Germany

Today, I was browsing the internet and I found a picture of my girlfriend on uglypeople.com. FML

agreeclassic 49 623

vote type 1 7 367

By fleur_de_fevrier - 21/12/2008 15:36 - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

agreeclassic 10 153

vote type 1 24 164

By Phil - 21/12/2008 12:14 - France

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

agreeclassic 25 420

vote type 1 2 964

By Yudor - 21/12/2008 09:40 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

agreeclassic 26 487

vote type 1 2 458

By Bito - 21/12/2008 07:00 - France

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

agreeclassic 19 180

vote type 1 12 317

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

agreeclassic 23 921

vote type 1 2 548

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

agreeclassic 26 572

vote type 1 8 401

By Rabzouz - 20/12/2008 08:16 - France

Today, I opened a packet of cereal and it exploded on my keyboard; now, my keyboard crackles. FML

agreeclassic 19 719

vote type 1 12 260

By elo - 20/12/2008 05:50 - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

agreeclassic 7 918

vote type 1 32 497

Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

agreeclassic 58 358

vote type 1 7 045

Sharing is caring

By Carla J. - 19/12/2008 05:41 - France

Today, I got ready to stay over at my boyfriend's house. I brought food, new lingerie, and I got a bikini wax. I did stay overnight, but I was holding a bucket for him because he had gastroenteritis. FML

agreeclassic 26 711

vote type 1 2 874

By Olive - 19/12/2008 04:11 - France

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

agreeclassic 8 337

vote type 1 40 762

By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

agreeclassic 35 841

vote type 1 2 727

By Wickls - 18/12/2008 08:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

agreeclassic 9 118

vote type 1 29 369

By No name - 18/12/2008 04:43 - Australia

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

agreeclassic 22 366

vote type 1 2 845

By kisyfrot - 18/12/2008 03:38 - France

Today, I got fed up with my neighbor who has been coughing, night and day, for six months. I rang at her door to tell her about several remedies I know of to help, so I could sleep. I thus found out she has lung cancer. FML

agreeclassic 15 321

vote type 1 27 259

By Lilie - 17/12/2008 10:25 - France

Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

agreeclassic 31 406

vote type 1 2 522

By Gen - 17/12/2008 09:40 - France

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

agreeclassic 31 566

vote type 1 9 383

By Falouila - 17/12/2008 07:15 - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 25 768

vote type 1 5 052

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

agreeclassic 38 235

vote type 1 2 420

By Melie-Melo - 16/12/2008 07:55 - United Kingdom

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

agreeclassic 26 122

vote type 1 2 189

By Gen - 16/12/2008 07:05 - France

Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

agreeclassic 30 794

vote type 1 7 529

Touch grass

By Dr_JF - 15/12/2008 07:11 - France

Today, I told myself, "Come on you geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your computer, go for a walk." I finally mustered the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've now been in an internet café for four hours. FML

agreeclassic 23 488

vote type 1 9 081

By bip - 15/12/2008 05:36 - France

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

agreeclassic 8 882

vote type 1 57 462

By Fuzy - 15/12/2008 03:24 - France

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

agreeclassic 29 541

vote type 1 2 387

By Guuu - 14/12/2008 11:31 - France

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

agreeclassic 9 347

vote type 1 22 451

By Behemoth2 - 14/12/2008 05:15 - France

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

agreeclassic 8 385

vote type 1 68 472

By Kikinovak - 13/12/2008 12:06 - France

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

agreeclassic 8 067

vote type 1 41 292

By noname - 13/12/2008 05:48 - France

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

agreeclassic 51 870

vote type 1 2 977

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML

agreeclassic 32 896

vote type 1 5 905

Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 1 316

vote type 1 222

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

agreeclassic 52 376

vote type 1 3 515

Today, I walked past a building site near my house, there was a sign saying "WARNING - Beware of the scaffolding". I started laughing at the stupidity of the sign, and walked straight into a metal pole. FML

agreeclassic 8 472

vote type 1 59 248

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

agreeclassic 31 042

vote type 1 3 889

Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML

agreeclassic 533

vote type 1 491