Love: Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to... - FML

By Danno - United States

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

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Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Commando

Trans women are women

By Lindsey - United States

Today, I took my driving test. I had pulled out of my three point turn in a neighborhood and started driving again, thinking something wasn't quite right. The lady testing me looked over at me and said, "Sweetie, you're driving on the wrong side of the road." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'll be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

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By Dump Tump

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

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By stupid older sister - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

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By YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

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By JustAnotherTina - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Appropriate?

Today, I got an email. It said, "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

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By baseball25635 - United States

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

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By snappyPi

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

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By Username

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

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By looser

Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML

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By ILuvYouSoldiers - United States

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

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By Alex - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

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By crap

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

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By redneckpunk - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

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By niceboss - Singapore

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

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By Miguel - United States

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

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By banned - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

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By Anonymous - Philippines

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

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By Snotmyfault - United States

Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML

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By BIZZMAL - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

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By freezingtodeath - United States

Where's my stuff?

Today, I went into Target's dressing rooms to try some pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

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By SBCR - United States - Ankeny

Thanks for the input

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, during my dinner break, I was forced to listen to a coworker talk about how he dumped his needy ex for another woman. I'm the ex. We kept our relationship secret from our coworkers. I guess now I know why he dumped me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

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By AML - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

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By Lisa - United States - Bayside

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

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By crap - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

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By SayWhat - United States

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

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By wtfuraretard - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

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By princess

Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML

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By

Today, I wasn't sure whether it was past the time when they stopped giving out parking tickets. I checked the meters on either side of my car, and both were expired, so I figured I was good. I came back out to all three of us having tickets. FML

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By becca - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML

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By muffin - United States

Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

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By RockedSystem - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

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Top comments

By Tenma_Hakase | 0

#23894 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:41

How pathetic can you be to get depressed by that...

You do realize that the rejection is a randomized series of lines of code right?

By mikeyellenlee | 0

#3857 - Thursday 19 February 2009 7:05

I don't get what you're saying...but something tells me you're a loser.

COMMENTS

By xEPiCFAiLx | 0

#2227 - Saturday 14 February 2009 23:47

just ignore that. it's fake, anything could have happened i guess.

Reply

iownyou777 | 0

#915863 - Friday 5 March 2010 4:22

wat a fail this guy is

Reply

kaylabeanx | 1

#1035651 - Saturday 19 June 2010 6:41

Don't worry, only 2 people accept you on that site anyway

Reply

Starquake24 | 0

#4254395 - Tuesday 3 April 2012 18:00

Fake

By mikeyellenlee | 0

#3857 - Thursday 19 February 2009 7:05

I don't get what you're saying...but something tells me you're a loser.

Reply

chad73 | 0

#1545068 - Thursday 14 October 2010 2:41

maybe you'd have better luck dating in real life if you didn't sit around and play video games so much

By Tenma_Hakase | 0

#23894 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 4:41

How pathetic can you be to get depressed by that...

You do realize that the rejection is a randomized series of lines of code right?

Reply

dmmcintyre3 | 8

#4261685 - Thursday 5 April 2012 7:08

It's not even randomized in GTA4.

Reply

jwp0211 | 17

#4787118 - Wednesday 8 August 2012 11:20

If I'm correct there are only 6 girls you can date, 3 at a time.

By tifferneelee | 0

#25667 - Wednesday 11 March 2009 2:06

i have the game and that doesn't happen. go make up more stories elsewhere

Reply

rwac07 | 0

#983000 - Wednesday 21 April 2010 8:45

it does happen u idiot

Reply

matt5217 | 4

#1120480 - Wednesday 21 July 2010 23:39

it happens

Reply

Franorox | 8

#3528817 - Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:38

It always happens asshole

Reply

SkateBoarding | 4

#3863205 - Wednesday 11 January 2012 0:23

Your making up stories retard

By kaffweenie07 | 0

#36553 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:17

There are only two or three girls that will accept you and it's not off the bat. It's later in the game. All the other girls are just for show.

By knitbitch | 0

#56335 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 0:35

Grand Theft Auto? You deserved that.

By nafiul93 | 0

#59156 - Thursday 26 March 2009 3:50

i agree to #3 why wud u be mad at that
go outside and talk to chicks
in REAL LIFE

By 24788 | 6

#161044 - Saturday 2 May 2009 1:50

Lol, it's not going to be that easy. No one would buys games if all the plots were easy.

By prettygirlsonly | 0

#168208 - Monday 4 May 2009 20:06

Im sorry... but... please, come to the real world, i know is unkind, but at least it is FOR REAL...

By ddrluna | 2

#216502 - Thursday 21 May 2009 5:38

Dude... This might be tough to grasp, but, uh... it's a video game.

Seriously.