Mixed messages

By mook - 15/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesn't know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 152
You deserved it 5 667

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That's why you don't get involved in other peoples' business. But FYL because you reall were trying to help the kid.

F the kid's life. D: That's so shitty for him. His parents should accept him :/

Comments

first! and that sucks, parents should be more understanding..

Oh my god, I am the first person to reply to the first comment! I win!

I agree. I dont understand homophobes... like im not gay but idk if someone else is.... just care about your own life.. Also OP that sux, but the kid should probably still tell, because it might cure his fathers homophobism

I think being homophobic is like being gay. You don't choose to be it, you just are.

I think so also, #59. I don't think people can really help being ignorant or hateful. You hate what you hate, and when you hate it, you don't really want to know anything of it. And OP: I really think he should still come out to his family. Even if his dad isn't so understanding, the rest of his family might be.

That's great that you think it's funny that a gay kid is living with his homophobic douchebag of a father. Really great. Might want to rethink your position there...

your an idiot. phobias can be cured. but the ones where one is just stubbornly intolerant of another is ridiculous. your basically saying its not a choice to be racist or sexist.

Paul nailed it.

Please. How many straight-hating gays have you met? If you've met several, you know what the common denominator is? YOU. We "fags" can smell douchebags like you from a mile away.

To be fair, straight-hating gays exist. But really, being hateful to people because of their orientation isn't acceptable regardless of who does it or who it's directed at.

So... do you disagree with the idea of slaves hating the people who enslaved them?

your delusional, tryin to compare slavery to faggotry, slaves had no choice, you queers made your choice, so deal with it.

@85: Lol wut? That doesn't have anything to do with what I said. Yes it's reasonable to resent someone that enslaved/been a douche to you, but it's not reasonable to hate everyone that's similar to that person in a way that has nothing to do with being a slave owner/douche. It's a flawed school of thought that spreads hate and makes no step to solve anything. Every sort of person is equally capable of good and evil regardless of their gender, age, social/economic status, orientation, ethnicity, religion, etc, and we need to recognize that.

@ #99 Gay people don't choose to be gay any more than straight people choose to be straight. Get your head out of your ass.

I wasn't replying to you, SomeonePosting, I was replying to the one who couldn't spell. I agree with your sentiments, actually.

Why would I choose to be gay when there are so many fuckwits like you that get it my face about it?

Exactly thank you ibetitstung

Fine, I'll just use that argument against homosexuals then. Hate =/= phobia.

It really is a fear. Homophobes are afraid of anyone different than themselves. They're afraid of what happens to their place in the world is everyone is treated equally, instead of supporting love for itself. Hate IS fear.

There's a couple punks down my street who I hate. Do you think I'm afraid of them? Hell no. I have a black friend. He's different than me. Am I afraid of him? No. I have a female friend. Do I fear her? No. Your logic is invalid.

You might think you're not afraid of them, but the fear comes unconsciously. You don't even realize it until it actually comes to you. Homophobia is technically a fear, but a subconscious fear.

I always have fun reading your comments.

comment #118, was the only comment above that made any sense. Your fears, phobias and sexualities are not something you can choice and is not something you were born with. These are just logical outcomes of your environment, and in no way should be seen as something negative. Every organism is a product of their environment, I don’t see why people can’t seem to get that.

I'm sorry, but all I saw n that wall of text was "fags, scum, hitler, hell, fags, hitler, scum, hitler".

funny. All I saw was "I have told you this many times before, I should be in hell. I make hitler look good." :]

@ 126: Are you F**king retarted? Anyone knows when one's scared of something. I'm pretty sure if #118 were to confront those punks, he still wouldn't be scared. Most fears don't "come unconsciously". And since when is homophobia a subconscious fear? I'm pretty sure those people are conscious it. Are you also going to try and tell me that arachnophobia or any other type of fear is subconscious fear too? That's the biggest bull I've heard.

Are you serious? We don't need anymore close-minded homophobes in the world. Really.

It's too bad you didn't know before that the dad was homophobic, the kid should come out, but he shouldn't have to when he's living with the fucker...he can do it when he moves out and can avoid any punishment the sexually repressed dad has to throw at him.

fucking faggets go hang yourself you demons, you mistake of living life, you are no human, you are an animal, a worthless and mutated being

#127 and 156 It's people like you who are destroying this world, I feel sorry for you because obviously something messed you up a long time ago and this is how you express it, through pointless and nonsensical hate. It feels pointless for me to even be writing, you probably won't understand it anyways. It's a waste of time even paying attention to you. Goodbye and I hope that you start to use your brain instead of sitting on the couch watching TV, drinking beer and eating Cheetos... Oh and 127 work on your grammar, it sucks

#156 - @MsTs1 wow! i've found in my life when someone is that worked up by the "fucking faggets" (btw, you really should attend school a little more often and learn to spell) it's usually because they want to suck a dick themselves but are just too fucking scared to do anything about it.

Recessive genetics recessive genetics recessive genetics recessive genetics! You can be a carrier of a gene and not have it. Assuming it is a specific gene and not a combination of hereditary factors, there are probably millions of straight individuals carrying the gene as a recessive trait, and (especially if both parents have it) the trait will become active in their children. This explains why twins often have a similar sexuality and why sometimes un-twinned siblings are gay, and it explains why sometimes they're not. It's all percentages.

Aaaaaaaaaaaactually I'm Finishing up a Degree in Biological science at UCLA and the Genetic path of homosexuality And Sickle Cell Anemia are two of the main things I'm researching soooooo maybe My insight isn't TOTALLY Invalid.

#177, I think wilshires1 was making a general statement that unless you are qualified in genetics, you're insight is not valid, and is just an opinion until proven otherwise. So, if you made a point to comment on this topic and claim you are what you are, why don't you give us your insight on the matter, if you really are specializing

You cannot choose to be gay, it is not a choice, it is not an opinion, it is not unnatural, and it is perfectly normal. It is a shame that people are so ignorant, I was sexually, physically and mentally abused by my baby sitter as a child because I told him I was gay, kids beat me up, I had 38 broken bones, I came with a nosebleed every day because of everyone's ignorance and the school just agreed with what they were doing because apparently "God does not like fags. If you are gay you are not really a person." I hope every one knows that this is total bullshit and if you do believe it you are just an asshole. You can't be homophobic, it is not a disease, it is just ignorance. Please help the child in your FML and take care of him if you are worried for his safety.

I don't have a problem with homosexuality- but I'm just saying it doesn't make sense that it's "not a choice." If it really isn't a choice, then it's coded into a person's genetic makeup. Fine, so be it. However, if that is true, since gays can't reproduce naturally, the gene will not be passed down. Even if a person who is not gay and is a carrier of the recessive gene- this will be weeded out too eventually. If being gay were genetic then there would technically wouldn't be any homosexuals in the future. I don't see this happening. Forever there will be homosexual people, and this is fine with me and a lot of the world's population. All I'm saying is if it isn't genetic, then it's a choice. If it's not a choice, then it's genetic. People don't just "choose" to be gay, but like any other fetish, people just explore their sexuality and come to different conclusions.

I read somewhere that it has to do with something in your brain. A chemical change or some sort of a lobe? Sorry I am very tired now. But yeah...I was not trying to make anyone angry. I was just defensive because of all the homophobic posts. Like I said, It is not a choice, if you are a straight male then you don't get aroused by other guys, it is just your sexual orientation. I just want to get the message out there that homosexuality is NOT choice. There have been many arguments about this and both sides have had good points but you cannot change your sexual preference. It is like trying to get horny to thoughts of a gorilla, I am not saying animosity is anything like homosexuality but I am saying it just does not work. Yes, there will always be gay people, they are not going away, they are not evil, they are not "demons" or "monsters", they are just people who like something a little bit different. My point is that it is not a choice, let homosexuals live in peace, stop being ignorant and have a nice day(I am not saying anything bad about you just_me_tmp, you seem nice I was just saying stuff for other people to read in-case they were homophobic). Sorry for writing stuff that was not needed but there are alot of homophobes and people who are not sure on the matter. Gaah! You probably think I'm just some kid trying to make a point but failing miserably. At least I tried. Have a good one! ^^

I think being gay is more of an extreme fetish. We don't choose fetishes, but they aren't genetic either. With that said, why do some people get turned on by feet??? Are all of you saying that the person is born with a foot fetish? Some men are just attracted to other men, and the same with women. They may not choose to be gay in all situations, but it's definitely not genetic. If it were genetic, the technology available to us today would have been able to reveal this.

That's why you don't get involved in other peoples' business. But FYL because you reall were trying to help the kid.

Agreed. Never get involved in other people's business.

Agreed 3. It's not his place to advise the kid to come out to his family. He CLEARLY has no idea what they're like and how it would affect everyone's lives.

By the way, I'm including the gay son's life in that ^. The OP doesn't know if his parents will disown him or make his life miserable. He's just not informed enough to be giving this advice.

FYL but really guys? OP's being nice and helping someone who he knows is in a problem so he tried to help! it's not like OP knew the guys dad was a homo! so yeah he tried to help but it didn't work! nice try tho:)

You are an idiot. You shouldn't interfere with dysfunctional families unless you are a trained professional. When either the father or the son kills the other, it'll be on your head.

It's none of your own business either. Maybe the son came to the OP for advice, otherwise, how would the OP know?? I doubt any killing will happen. It didn't state they lived in redneck land, where a father might actually do such a thing because his son came out of the closet. In fact, the "coincidence" of the father bringing up the subject at last, right the next day, makes me think the son came out of the closet after talking to the neighbour, the rest of the family was ok with it, and the father had to swallow his homophobia and STFU, hence why he says he's sad that his family doesn't knows he's homophobic (which would have "saved" him from his son coming out of the closet to him, maybe). The son probably mentioned getting the courage to tell thanks to the neighbour, which is why the father then went to talk to the neighbour to complain... It's a clear possibility, because otherwise it's just too much of a coincidence.

His being gay does not make the family dysfunctional. Functional is defined as both adults working together for the better of the children. This man may be misguided thinking his child being gay is a terrible thing, but it clearly means he loves him and wants what's best for him. I read a post once about how you, Plexico, just like to stir things up. I'm thinking it might have been right.

F the kid's life. D: That's so shitty for him. His parents should accept him :/

honestly i think you shouldnt have interfered. hey thats what #3 said but oh well i agree

Ok - mook - you are over-involved with these neighbors. 15 minute homophobe confessions don't just come up in casual conversation while you are out mowing your lawn, and the kid next door coming out to you is kind of odd too. Are you gay? That would at least make some sense and explain why these people feel they need to come to you as some kind of Gay Issue Oracle...

mate, it's called being a friend of the family. it's not being overly involved with the family to convince the son to come out (which was a good thing to do) and to be friendly enough with the father that he shares that secret with OP.

um. whats so wrong with being friends with your neighbors?

Well, at least it'll be in the open...

Gay Issue Oracle- Lol i absolutely loved that. Plus, you could abbreviate that to Gio @OP: Well, your neighbour can fucking deal with it. I'm not sure if it was wise to tell your neighbour's son to come out though. I'm still really afraid to come out to my parents. They are fairly homophobic too, and they'll look at me differently from that point on. Plus there's no advantage to telling them that I'm gay until I actually get a boyfriend. Some people would call that cowardly, I just call it good logic.

I somehow suspect that if the kid's comfortable enough talking for two hours, that the neighbor isn't just some random wank who walked up one day and butted into their affairs. Just saying.

Shikyo - your sarcasm made me laugh! And you know, there are still people that say "colored" in reference to black people. The doctor I work for is black and the other day I got this call from an old man asking if "that colored lady still works there". lol

Sucks to have to go through that btw mate, FYL indeed.

I'm waiting for the exact same thing to tell my mother, and all my friends are harassing me for waiting. The kid is lucky to have someone to talk to, hopefully the rest of the family is more accepting.

There are homophobes everywhere, doesn't matter where you go.

You're lucky 31. I'd happily tell my parents right this minute if it would get me out of telling my friends. They wouldn't really have a problem with it, but a lot of people at my school are majorly homophobic and I would get torn to shreds if people at my school found out I'm gay. Why can't people just accept us for who we are? I'm a nice person, I don't really deserve to take any shit from folk just because I like other men.

I was very lucky in that my high school was fairly accepting and my friends didn't think didn't think differently of me once I told them. The worst I got from any of my friends was "well, I don't agree with it, but you're still my friend." I really hope things work out for you soon.

Same, luckily I go to a very liberal private school. I'm not really out in my school but all of the friends I've told so far *11* Are all perfectly fine with it and are encouraging me to come out fully...

Wow that suckss.

Run and tell the kid not to tell his dad!?

That's horrible. But he has to come out to his family eventually.