Embarrassing, Sleep, Dreams and Cute: Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

By MadMax - 16/07/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 526

You deserved it 5 362

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Same thing different taste

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 3 066

By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 101

You deserved it 2 820

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 728

You deserved it 4 401

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 865

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 557

You deserved it 7 958

Freaked out

By ADanceWithDavos - 07/07/2014 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 020

You deserved it 4 626

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 13 981

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.

montgomery634 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:02

hahaha that's really funny

Comments

montgomery634 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:02

hahaha that's really funny

Warpicuss 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:04

Omg lol D=

DamionDude 0

Monday 19 July 2010 5:23

No, =D

where_i_stood 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:05

looool. but that's not really an FML...

too_much_fun 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:10

agreed. this doesnt really suck unless you were over at a huge sleep over with people you were trying to impress.

volcomxbabiix3 0

Friday 11 September 2009 22:49

yeaaah, this isnt rele an FML but its hilariouss xD

NomNomMuffin 5

Sunday 22 April 2012 8:39

Take it as a compliment OP!

letitrockk 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:06

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I_lost_the_game 25

Friday 8 June 2012 1:05

She was sleeping, she couldn't help it.

robbietherabbit 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:08

ha, don't know if I would believe your friend

lil_miz_liz09 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:08

this isn't really an fml. but its funnyyy!

dramakat11 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:10

That's not an FML. You were having a weird dream, so what? It's pretty funny though.

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.

nowhere90 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:23

A sex dream with a duck and the Queen of England? That makes the dream even more weird..

Romaine_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 21:28

That sounds like a pretty awesome type of sex dream to be honest. I mean, how good can they get? It's royalty and ********** combined

xsteezy 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

this isn't even funny. this is a waste of an fml.

Overlord57 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:15

I once quoted part of a game in my sleep, according to my friends. Just keep in mind that your friend might just be trying to screw with you.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 121

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, my uncle’s girlfriend’s paranoid jealousy hit a new low. I woke up to several nasty, threatening texts from her, accusing me of sleeping with my own uncle. According to her, no uncle and niece could possibly be as close as he and I are without something freaky going on. I really hate her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 598

You deserved it 145

Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 705

You deserved it 373

Today, I boarded my first airplane flight. The girl on my right is sick, and the guy on my left says he gets extremely nauseous on flights. My earphones can't block out the panting and retching on either side of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 443

You deserved it 2 350

Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 368

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 162

You deserved it 40 316

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our Facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, "liking" the break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 951

You deserved it 7 570

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

Same thing different taste

Truth

Lonely, so lonely

Freaked out

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