All the FMLs

you guys, there's a word limit... i couldn't say that at least 500 people looked at me as though i killed someone, plus the officials were all pakistani so i had to translate what happened...then my grandma started shoutin at me for being a fool and Dubai airport is toooooo big...

Fresh

By MalariaFree - 14/06/2009 11:08 - Uganda

Today, I went to a hospital in Uganda, where I'm working with an NGO for the summer. I had a high fever and other symptoms of malaria. They gave me a test, and I don't have malaria. I'm now however sick from the water they gave me to wash down a medication to reduce fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 942

You deserved it 3 343

By driezal - 14/06/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, I went out with a group of friends. I hadn't gone out in a few months since my fiancé left me. They promised me there wouldn't be drinking and would just be video game stuff. By 10pm, everyone was wasted, I got thrown up on and I had to walk home fifteen blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 150

You deserved it 5 491

driezal tells us more.

driezal 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 18:34

To all those that commented: "Why didn't you drink too? Party pooper!" Actually, I'm allergic to alcohol. I did have one drink, but anymore than that and my body starts to go into shock. Then it's a lovely trip to the hospital. Yep, I know, such a party pooper, eh? Thanks for the nice comments though. You guys get karma points.

By number2 - 14/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 083

You deserved it 4 526

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 173

You deserved it 17 592

By anonymous1 - 14/06/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 713

You deserved it 11 026

By Meg - 13/06/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 406

You deserved it 2 822

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 210

You deserved it 12 670

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise, the white expensive carpet was dyed grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 578

You deserved it 9 111

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 853

You deserved it 51 144

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 664

You deserved it 6 645

By Toothy_Peg - 13/06/2009 15:13 - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 255

You deserved it 4 337

Little demon

By Hackmanjones - 13/06/2009 14:42 - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said, "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 448

You deserved it 4 818

By e.middlechild - 13/06/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 472

You deserved it 3 726

Couch action

By Mojo_Jojo - 13/06/2009 11:01 - China

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 052

You deserved it 6 712

By Michael - 13/06/2009 10:35 - United States

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 445

You deserved it 24 225

popemichael tells us more.

popemichael 9

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:37

Michael here... I had to introduce the new girlfriend to the exwife when I picked up my kid. My exwife didn't want my son spending the weekend with me and her if she didn't meet her. They did end up sharing things about me. However they claim that if I think that's all they talked about that I'm really conceded. I think I'm more paranoid than conceded, though.