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Hey OP here. I guess I should clarify some things. Birth control was used, as like every other time. It happened to fail. We were together a few months and a few more after we found out. I don't believe in staying with someone solely because of a child. It's not healthy for anyone. We get along fine and he's excited to be a dad. Absolutely not great timing of course. But I do not believe in abortion. I didn't post this because I'm worried about money. I have a good full time job that I will return to after my mat leave. My heart hurts for him, not me. I've got my family here, I'll be ok. Thank you for the support!!

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 5 155

By Catuser - 06/03/2014 03:09 - United States - Bracey

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 55 469

Catuser tells us more.

Catuser 14

Saturday 8 March 2014 6:09

This is the follow up: My teacher did laugh it off but sternly told me to never do it again or I will be suspended from her class. Thanks for publishing my first FML!

Panic on the streets of somewhere

By raiyne - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, while parallel parked, a car stopped next to me, backed up, and hit the woman behind him. When she pulled off to the side to check for damage, she slammed into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 2 061

By izu - 16/09/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 223

You deserved it 2 759

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 14:04 - United States - Bel Air

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 222

You deserved it 2 101

By notworthy - 25/01/2010 09:32 - New Zealand

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 221

You deserved it 3 588

By anonymous - 27/06/2015 17:40 - United States

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 218

You deserved it 2 888

By queenbee - 14/06/2015 13:31 - United States - Media

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 2 512

By mikey - 14/10/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 7 061

By Anonymous - 04/11/2011 19:38 - United States

Today, for the first time in years, I broke down in tears, over a Hallmark commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 6 869

Leave me alone

By notgivingup - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 216

You deserved it 2 085

By Anon - 15/05/2015 13:58 - United States - Lakeville

Today, my brother and I had a long argument. He believes wholeheartedly that pineapples are not actually fruits, but berries. When I showed him a google search, he accused me of "faking" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 213

You deserved it 4 066

By robotchickens - 10/03/2010 19:54 - United States

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 212

You deserved it 2 712

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 211

You deserved it 8 418

By just me - 13/05/2012 18:54 - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 3 484

Are you lost?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:22 - United States

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 208

You deserved it 1 781

Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 206

You deserved it 3 304

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 206

You deserved it 8 146

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 8 188

Get out!

By birdhater - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 200

You deserved it 2 749

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 345

You deserved it 41 216

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 229

You deserved it 6 635

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 9 802

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who broke up with me the day before yesterday, got a job at my workplace. He shows up dressed his best clothes, clean-shaven, and with perfume. For the 10 months we dated, I only saw him in baggy tops, sweatpants, a weird beard, and the smell of sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 253

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 830

You deserved it 2 561

Today, after 20 loving years together, my husband had a “change of heart” and decided to leave me for his 26 year-old employee. He’s 64. I can’t get him fired because he’s the owner of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 181